Found their private Twitter. I have NEVER seen so many pictures of emus with muscular legs. Like dude, you touch yourself to that? Get a therapist, and stop putting up printed emu legs like flyers around our Alcoholics Anonymous group please.

P.S. You're almost out of toner.

literally the cutest woman ive ever met

Un gordo hijo de pta

Kamala Harris doesn't like you, really. Heard it from a little birdie, y'know? This little app called Twitter (invite only), she added me cause my swag penetrated the roots of the White House. Smelled the baddest mama ever and had to get me in between them toes, dawg, s'how favors get done around here. Not like you'd know. Chump.

You'll be looking like a bent valve from a BMW N64 TT V8 by the time I'm done ramming all 14 of these professionally rated golf clubs by the R&A (Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews) up your rectal cavity.

Formal invitation to the 24 hour Caribbean goon session, hosted at Kunduz hospital, Kunduz Provice, Afganistan on October 3rd 2015. Please bring at least $5 for admittance, refreshments and lube will be provided. Also, we provide STD testing in the tent outside.