<b>I walk right up to the coffee slave, slap my hand on the counter and say 'I'll have one large coffee because I have one <u>large</u> penis. You see, if I were to have a small coffee it wouldn't produce enough urine for my bladder to be able to force it all the way down my long urethra. But with a large coffee my bladder gets full enough that I can put some momentum into the waste liquid so that it can fully leave my penis.'

I only end up drinking about half the cup though before I through it away, but at least this way nobody will think poorly of me.</b>