Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second – let me get this spork out of the
way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (I’m laughing
aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is
why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.

I am 13 – mature for my age, however! – and I enjoy watching Invader Zim
with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.)
It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic
manners of behavior such as we possess.

She behaves without order – of course – but I wish to meet more individuals
of her and my kind. As the saying goes, “the more, the merrier.”

Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please
comment freely.

Doom!

That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare
thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.

Yours,

The Penguin of Doom.