If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot
of different places, just write a Unix operating system.
-- Linus Torvalds
😬
Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
😚
Zoe: "This is really not my area of expertise, doctor. I tend to be putting
these into people more than the other thing."

Wash: "Can I mop your brow? I am at the ready with the fearsome brow
mopper."

Simon: "You got the bullet. Okay, I'm going to pass out now, but you're
doing great."
😭
The "cutting edge" is getting rather dull.
-- Andy Purshottam
😩
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his ♥♥♥♥.
😯
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein
😵
Humor in the Court:
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.
😷