sus

I used to play Fortnite all night. No sleep! But ever since Obama told me to try Raid Shadow Legends for free, I am addicted. This game is a game. It has graphics. It has characters. Best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! Two week ago I spend all my money becoming a Raid Shadow Legend. Now I live in a dumpster outside a McDonald’s with free WiFi. At night I sneak into the McDonald’s like my new raccoon dad, Stripey, taught me to do so I can charge my phone. Through the cracked screen I am still perpetually amazed by the graphics of this game... they look so real! Thank you Obama, you truly changed my life!

You idiot. Simpleton. Low-IQ cockroach. How dare you not Like my steam profile? I have spent years, decades, studying Steam profile design theory to master the craft of making people droll when looking at my profile. You have insulted me and brought dishonor to my bloodline. My career is now in shambles because of you. You have ruined me. My days of being an internet chad man are no more. I can no longer sustain my family. This calls for a punishment of the highest degree. Since you have shamed me in front of the masses, I shall do the same to you. And all I need to do is utter three simple syllables. UR. MUM. Gei. Good luck recovering from that.

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