This is a reminder of your selective service into the U.S. Space Force. Please note that the deadline has been reduced to 4/02/2040. Until that time, please enjoy your time on Earth. For when you are to be drafted, you shall live your live in space for the entirety of your contract.

The man with a rank hereby declares that you will be drafted in the US. Space Force as a vice assistant to the Director of Space Affairs. You are to prepare to blast off into space on 6/9/2069. Please prepare your luggage and depart 23 hours prior to your departure date as our space shuttles may have delays.

uwu