+ REP _ Handsome Bard

How to counter Russian rapists
At the moment you suspect a Russian trying to anally assault you, there are a few things you can do to counter them.

1 - Stay calm. Russian rapists become more energetic if you squirm about.

2 - Grab the nearest object you have. If you have none, you better remember that time you fisted a guy at school.

3 - Prepare for total domination.

4 - When his hard Russian sch-long nears you, take out that object, stab or hit him in the ballsacks. Remember, make sure you hit the painful part.

5 - At this point, the Russian that is attempting to anally assault you will be laying on the floor and roaring in pain. Now is the time to act. Cut off his ballocks, and he will unable to rape you. Or just kick it long enough, that'll probably work.

6 - You have countered a Russian anal assault.

After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy, he is NOT reliable!

smoll pp

add me pls, i cant add you

hi mate, can you add me? just for a quick chat