Hello, this is John from microsoft tech support and i see that your computer got a virus.
Please send us 1000$ in advance for reparing your computah

hey, Jia! i'm an admin from PinkieCraft 🌈, the pony roleplay Minecraft server that you play on! i wanted to personally extend my thank you for the 1000$ you donated to help keep our server alive! next time you log on we'll make sure to let me know and i'll make sure to get you that custom pony body you donated for! i regret to inform you, however, that we don't currently have a way to give you "20 foot horse c o c k" like you requested but we'll work on it thank you

A friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear. I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way, his attitude really ruined the rest of his sister's funeral and made it very awkward.