>:(

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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are

Shrek, a grouchy, mean, selfish green ogre that has always enjoyed living in peaceful solitude in his swamp, finds his life disrupted when numerous fairy-tale beings, including Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, and Donkey, are forced into the swamp by order of the obsessive, perfectionist, fairy-tale despising Lord Farquaad. Shrek leaves the swamp to ask Farquaad for the return of his privacy, with Donkey happily tagging along.

Meanwhile, Farquaad tortures the Gingerbread Man into revealing the whereabouts of the remaining fairy-tale creatures until his guards rush in with an object Farquaad has been searching for: the Magic Mirror. The Mirror tells him that Farquaad can only become a real king by marrying a princess (completely disregarding his original question regarding if his kingdom was the fairest of them all).

The Mirror gives him three princesses to choose from (in a parody of The Dating Game): Cinderella, Snow White, and Princess Fiona. Farquaad chooses Fiona and silences the Mirror before he can mention "the little thing that happens at night" (which is later revealed to be a curse). Shrek and Donkey arrive at Farquaad's palace in Duloc, where they find themselves in the midst of a tournament. The winner will have the "privilege" of attempting to rescue Fiona from a castle surrounded by lava and protected by a fire-breathing dragon so that Farquaad may marry her. Shrek (with some help from Donkey) easily beats the other knights in a fashion that resembles a wrestling match and Farquaad agrees to remove the fairy-tale creatures from the swamp if Shrek rescues Fiona.

Shrek and Donkey travel to the castle and split up to find Fiona. Donkey encounters the dragon and sweet-talks the beast to save himself before discovering that the dragon is female. Dragon takes a liking to Donkey and carries him to her chambers. When Shrek finds Fiona, she is appalled at his lack of romanticism. As they are leaving, Shrek manages to save Donkey, caught in Dragon's tender clutches, and causing her to become irate, chasing Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey out of the castle. At first, Fiona is thrilled to be rescued but quickly becomes disappointed when Shrek takes his helmet off and she realizes that he is an ogre.