Free my homie from the blue screen ban

Free my mans Farwind out the box. He aint do nothin wrong.

I've gone numb to real woman, I only ♥♥♥♥ 2D now. Don't @ me.

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly ♥♥♥ every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.

So this just went down. Everyone around has heard funny stories about people putting icy hot on their balls but I thought I should share. My roommate and I decided it would be funny to offer our third roommate $20 each to put some on his ball sack so we could video tape his reaction. This kid thinks he is the man and is in the ROTC and stuff and readily accepts.

He puts in on. Grimaces a little. We had already seen youtube videos with kids freaking out so the fact that there is really no reaction pisses us off. 15 minutes pass, nothing. $20 dollars down the tube. Well, I had some other icy hot around that is applied by a rolling ball but the actual liquid is more than twice as strong. We decide ♥♥♥♥ it, twenty a piece more if he rubs on the whole bottle after we pried out the rolling ball. (I realize, slightly gay sounding. I'm cool with it.)

He applies it. Once again grimacing but little reaction. ♥♥♥♥, $40 wasted I thought. Twenty minutes pass. He rates the pain at five out of ten. Well, It then started to intensify. Decides to go take a shower but says it doesn't really help. Fast forward five minutes and this kid is legitimately on the floor of the bathroom in the fetal position and is grabbing his thighs so hard he started bleeding. Makes grunting noises only. Roommate and I laughing hysterically, but also slightly worried. 5 minutes later a 22 year old former ranked boxer is actually crying in the fetal position, tears streaming from his eyes. "My balls are purple", groans, "I think they are swelling up," more groaning, "I think something is wrong." We actually start to get worried, we were hoping for pain but this may be overboard.