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"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and
I thirsted for a meaningful vision of
human life -- so I became a scientist.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls."
-- Matt Cartmill
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HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY ♥♥♥♥ IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS TO BE ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM. THIS ♥♥♥♥ COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR ♥♥♥♥, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. ♥♥♥♥.

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT ♥♥♥♥ AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. THOSE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY ♥♥♥♥, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? ♥♥♥♥ YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO ♥♥♥♥ YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY ♥♥♥♥ IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS TO BE ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM. THIS ♥♥♥♥ COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR ♥♥♥♥, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. ♥♥♥♥.

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT ♥♥♥♥ AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. THOSE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY ♥♥♥♥, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? ♥♥♥♥ YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO ♥♥♥♥ YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY ♥♥♥♥ IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS TO BE ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM. THIS ♥♥♥♥ COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR ♥♥♥♥, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. ♥♥♥♥.

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT ♥♥♥♥ AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. THOSE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY ♥♥♥♥, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? ♥♥♥♥ YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO ♥♥♥♥ YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY ♥♥♥♥ IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS TO BE ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM. THIS ♥♥♥♥ COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR ♥♥♥♥, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. ♥♥♥♥.

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT ♥♥♥♥ AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. THOSE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY ♥♥♥♥, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? ♥♥♥♥ YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO ♥♥♥♥ YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT