(」・ω・)」うー！(／・ω・)／にゃー！

I've gotten better and better at hiding my ♥♥♥♥, but my ♥♥♥♥ has also gotten better and better at making itself known. The other day, it nearly attacked a poor woman on the sidewalk as it furiously tried to rip through my pantaloons, like a furious, rabid dog on a leash. It's gotten to the point where it's now verbally abusive (it called me a virgin), and it's telling me how I'm not cut for anything in life (even tho it is also not cut).
Any fat-cockers have any advice on how to deal with this?

My fat ♥♥♥♥ is getting in the way of my education. [SERIOUS]
So, much like any other Samsung owner, I have a really massive penis, but it's also very girthy. This isn't a problem in it of itself, generally I have my mom to remind me that having a ♥♥♥♥ so huge isn't anything to be ashamed of, but the problem is that my school pants are really tight, so whenever my ♥♥♥♥ is wiggling around from any slight movement from my hips, it looks like an alien larva trying to bust out of the chest of an unlucky victim.

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………….……………………. „-/*"\„,„,
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯ :\_ / o '"*'"¯/' WOOF WOOF
……………………¸„„-^"¯ : : : : : : : : ¸„,-~"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ : : : : : : : : : :¸-"
.:.:.:.:.„-^" : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :- GIVE THIS CUTE DOG
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯ TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. : : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯
:.' : : '\ : : : : : : : ;¸„„-~"¯
:.:.:: :"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.': : : : :"-„ : : :"\
.:.:.: : : : :" : : : : \,
:.: : : : : : : : : : : : 'Ì
: : : : : : :, : : : : : :/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠒⠂⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⣰⣶⣦⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄THINK
⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣖⣿⣷⣴⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄YOU
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠩⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄CAN
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡏⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄BEAT
⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠺⡇⠄⢵⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ME
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⣷⣀⠈⠙⠛⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄1,2,3?
⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠹⢿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢰⣤⣀⣀⣠⣔⢰⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡈⠄⠄⠄
⢠⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢸⡆⠄⠐⠄⢸⣿⣌⠄⠄
⢸⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⢿⡤⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⡄⠄
⠈⢿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⣿⣷⣦⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠘⢿⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠈⠻⣿⣇⠠⠄⢀⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡆⠄⠄⠘⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⢀⣿⣿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣾⢟⣾⣄⠄⡴⣿⡀⠄