I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a young boy I've dreamed of soaring over the oilfields and dropping hot, sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is impossible and that I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30mm cannons, and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on, I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me, you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like “what the ♥♥♥♥, you aren’t a Pringle”, but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty. I have already started hiding in cylinders all day, and now im improving my crunchiness by regularly burning my sides on the stove. I want you guys to respect my natural ability to instantly satisfy low salt carb cravings, and if you don’t you are oppressing me, and you should check your diabetes type. Thank you for being so understanding.

Heelloouh~ Basically, I need ONE LIVING BEING to dedicate my life to (romance and all else). I simply expect to find a person, who can dedicate their life to me too <3. Therefore, they must be single, available, capable of keeping promises. We would keep to the promise "Together, forever." as true and deep as we can. Example: Spending all our time together. Being eachother's most important thing. Why? Because being alone is lonely. Friends are useless. Close friends are not reliable. Gaming buddies in love > Normal buddies. AND waking up, with the first thought, to look forward to spending more time with the one you luv is cute <3. Bonuses: Gaming, Game development, Romance. I'm 20, very clingy, very demanding, very commited. If you are interested in that promise, Add me. <3