I was at home getting drunk and watching the NFL game one day when *BANG* the loudest sound I've ever heard shattered my front window, panicked I ran outside to see this man walking down the street carrying my neighbours girlfriend while eating a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch. When I hollered to the man asking about the loud noise he just winked at me and kept walking, a real badass, I hope he's single.

I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥ing my girlfriend last week. I’m still ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine.

-rep, strict coco puff lover.

Love this man, he's always willing to lend you his credit card when you need it.

sus