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ㅤ* If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
ㅤ* A doctor thoroughly examined his patient and said, "Look I really can't find any reason for this mysterious affliction. It's probably due to drinking." The patient sighed and snapped, "In that case, I'll come back when you're damn well sober!"
ㅤ* Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ROFL!