Hey man, its me, your old lfd2 friend, we used to play in 2016

Hey I found your steam through a mutual and I just wanted to say that I think we could get along real well :) I don't normally do things like this cause I'm a real gentleman :3, but do you want to maybe play a bit of cs sometime (omg I'm so embarrassed) >< I could go on my smurf so you don't have to put in that much effort, even though you're like the best and you'll probably be on top every round. When I see your name I just feel like we have this special connection that I can't describe in words, I think.. maybe we knew each other in a past life xDD like I can do the cooking and everything, you don't have to worry about that cuz I'm a real feminist, but I'll still take care of you <3 I know how to make a woman feel like a girl, but I won't do anything that freaks you out, just say one word and I'll stop so so fast! so maybe just consider me? I can't believe I'm writing this all out to you >< !! Even if you reject me it's all worth it just for you, my wuv <3 (plz don't reject me !!)

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#MakeTF2GreatAgain

Eat your breakfast.

Don’t trust this guy, he lost his virginity to a pillow. Then sent me twelve snapchat pics of dying Japanese children in his basement. Six years later he arrived at my doorstep wearing a full body latex suit screaming, "I knew Hitler!" Before i knew it, he was in my house just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and pissing on everything, I quickly grabbed a kitchen knife but as I turned around he was gone. Nothing but ♥♥♥♥ piss and a little semen remained. After that I have went off the grid, I now use satellite internet coupled with three VPN's running through a tor browser to evade him tracking me. Some believe he has existed for century’s, and that he has played a role in every major event in human history. The fall of Rome, the 9/11 attacks, the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the Norman conquest of the Britian, the Bolshevik revolution and much more! Whatever you do stop this creature!
Call this number regarding any information on this so called "bruv".
1800-YOU'RE-OVER-THINKING-THIS-3500