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After a good game in dota, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great dota and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a dota lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard wiener push against my leg. I smacked him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.

Wednesday, my empty arms were open

Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.