A long time ago I found my dad's condom stash. So I decided to experiment masturbating with condoms. Usually I would just put some porn on my PSP and spank my monkey in the bathroom. So I got a condom and my PSP and locked myself in the bathroom.

I tore open the little plastic thing the condom comes in. As I was about to put it on I stopped. I told myself "You know, maybe I can add some 'lube' to....enhance.....the experience"

I looked through the entire bathroom for something that might be a good substitute for lube. Then I came across a bottle of shampoo. I grinned. I unrolled the condom, and poured a crapload of shampoo into the condom. Then I slowly slid my rock hard prepubescent penis into it.

"Oh yeah, that's the stuff"

It felt so good. I loaded up a video on my psp and started polishing my bishop.

I finished up and flushed all the evidence down the toilet. Everything was great and I was proud of myself for discovering a new masturbation technique.

The next day I was at school and I was so horny my ♥♥♥♥ was harder than the last level of Trials HD.

I got home and ran into my room and jumped on my bed. I pulled my pants down and scurried to get my PSP. I opened a porn video and started choking my purple headed warrior.

It felt...weird. So I looked down and I almost had a heart attack.

My penis was shriveled and wrinkly. The skin was peeling off(kinda like when you have a sunburn).

That was exactly what my penis head looked like. I started crying. I thought I had some crazy STD or something(even though I was a virgin).

I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I was so scared. I had never been so scared in my life. My penis looked like someone put it in an oven for an hour. I got down on my knees and prayed to "god"(even though I was not/am not religious, I was so scared I was willing to pray for it to go away).

I put my penis under some running water to see what would happen and it actually went back to normal. But like 2 minutes after that it shriveled up again[face_plain]. So, for the next two days I was just splashing my ♥♥♥♥ with water to try and get it to stay "normal".

On the third day it was fine and I was relieved. I still wanted to find out what the **** went wrong. After some searching on Yahoo Answers I found out it was the shampoo. Apparently it has happened to tons of men.

Moral of the story: When you're gonna stroke your bamboo, don't use shampoo.