Waffle5542
Cody   United States
Level
7
One-Stop Shopper
112 XP
 
 
Most scientists theorize Waffle5542 first made his mark on Earth billions of years in the past, by ejaculating into an ocean of lava and creating unicellular life. A number of scientists can also can directly link Waffle to the Big Bang. While on the other hand strict religionists insist that some of Waffles earliest recorded actions was teaching Jesus to speak Chinese some 5,000 years ago (in 3000 BC) [which was also around which time the world was created by (by Waffle5542)]. As if he hadnt already done enough for humanity, Waffle recently decided he would go and find Osama Bin Laden. He booked a flight to Pakistan, packed up his guns and his Arab-sniffing Cuban pit bull, and went on h is way. During the cab ride to the airport,Waffle5542 noticed that his cab driver was Osama Bin Laden. When they arrived at the airport,Waffle then gave Osama a couple shots of whiskey, which placed him slightly above the legal blood-alcohol driving limit. This, obviously, led the buzzed-driving Bin Laden into certain catastrophe and instant death by car crash. Obama later took credit for killing Osama, (which was also the first time in history that a black man ever admitted to killing anyone.)
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