BendoverKenobi
sitcom addict   Viet Nam
16
级
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550 点经验值
 
 
“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”
― Barney Stinson



“Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is dead", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.”
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留言
funktown 2024 年 4 月 28 日 上午 6:56 
+rep rat bastard
funktown 2023 年 12 月 24 日 下午 11:06 
Merry Christmas, Lord Farquaad
BendoverKenobi 2023 年 12 月 6 日 下午 11:25 
dear god it's been another year
butteredbits 2022 年 11 月 27 日 下午 3:00 
soon(tm)
BendoverKenobi 2022 年 11 月 27 日 上午 6:24 
dear god it's been 2 years
butteredbits 2021 年 1 月 7 日 下午 7:06 
it's a delicacy somewhere