Comrade, [#312,300,478]. You’ve been spotted engaging in counter revolutionary activities, namely [obstruction of liberty camera #18 in (y)our communal dwelling #34,578,400, ignoring party propaganda articles, oppressing the proletariat through trading (y)our party distributed shoes for comrade #312,308,517’s surplus corn, spreading counter revolutionary propaganda, and most heinous of all, refusing to take (y)our “happy pills”]. Stay where you are, comrade commissar [#418,400,580] shall arrive shortly and shall sentence you to [“inclusive interrogation”, a 5 month re-education course, 50 years at the worker’s gulag of liberty, and the confiscation of (y)our families food supply for +99 years] Once again, thank you for your support of the worker’s party.