After a good game in cs2, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great cs2 games and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a lan party. He said he was coming so I was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 degled him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

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　　　　　　 ﾚ'ヽL__|___i,___,ンﾚ|ノ
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………….……………………. „-/*"\„,„,
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.:.:.:.:.„-^" : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :- GIVE THIS CUTE DOG
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯ TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT
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GG lol

👔 -- 🎍 -- 👑 -- 🎈 -- 🥗 -- 👳 -- 🍖 -- 🚘 -- 💛 -- 🎄 -- 🏓 -- 👾 -- 🚕 -- 🌳 -- 🍆
Hop along my little friends, up the Withywindle!
Tom's going on ahead candles for to kindle.
Down west sinks the Sun; soon you will be groping.
When the night-shadows fall, then the door will open,
Out of the winfow-panes light will twinkle yellow.
Fear no alder black! Heed no hoary willow!
Fear neither root nor bough! Tom goes on before you.
Hey now! merry dol! We'll be waiting for you!
-- J. R. R. Tolkien

Friends, Romans, Hipsters,
Let me

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