👨‍👦‍👦💅 Lance // ✨Papa Pew Pew✨
📍 Rank: Silver Daddy Elite
🕶️ Orientation: Fully Automatic & Fully Fabulous
👨‍👧 Status: Gay Father of Two & Plant-Daddy IRL

💥 He came out, came to play, and came to clutch.

They said fatherhood meant minivans and lawn care. Lance said, “No, sweetie—I’m raising my kids on headshots and high heels.” By day, he packs lunchboxes with love. By night, he packs terrorists into respawn with a Desert Eagle and unshakable dad confidence.

🎯 Favorite CS2 Moves:

Flashbangs with flair

Clutching 1v5 while yelling "NOT ON MY WATCH, HOMOPHOBE!"

Parenting mid-round: “Jimmy, if you don’t do your homework, I’ll demote myself to Bronze.”

💖 Lifestyle Loadout:

Kevlar Vest (Tailored)

AWP (Always With Pride)

Knife: Rainbow fade, just like his parenting style

MVP 2023 for Best Smoke Grenade + Side-Eye Combo

🍷 What’s he drinking mid-match?
An iced oat milk latte in a glittery mug that says “World’s #1 Bomb Dad” 💣💗

🎙️ Catchphrases:

“Who needs backup when you have a backup plan and a therapist?”

“I raise kids and KD ratios—don’t test me.”

“Defusing the bomb... and toxic masculinity.”