Recent reviews by Shmitty Werban Jagermanjenson

Its got some small distance to cover in terms of balance and a few additions to its mechanics but as is it almost perfectly fine and a really nice aesthetic, this is also available on mobile for free with no pestering for microtransactions or anything, the devs just let you play and leave you alone and you can unlock everything in good time while playing, i'd consider this a paid for game but with no price tag, if you enjoyed Slay the Spire this is another game to consider.

Interesting idea and mechanics sometimes but nothing innovative from what i found in 2hrs of playing.

what i DID find was HUGE lapses in instructions and teaching for the start of the game, absent sound effects, average story, clunky and frankly boring combat.

mentioned above is a minor crime, the worst offender is by far either the bad luck system that if it builds up just TAKES stuff from you using a bad luck spectre, or the absolutely irrational and sensless dialogue system, the choices do the same thing FO4 does where you choose how to reply and the prompt is seemingly innocuous but turns out saying things like "your goat talks?" actually means "enough with the games idiot! im no fool! start talking before i lose my temper!" and then you get tagged with being "aggressive", how does that make sense? where does the players choices come into play at all? poor game, somewhat nice art, awesome music for 3-6 songs, and thats it. would be better off just listening to the OST for an hour on youtube and not buying it frankly.

When this game isnt crashing its one of the worst gaming experiences ive ever experienced.

The worst:

- bugs galore, entities spawning on top of you on some missions, some in the street just hovering or clipping through objects, i literally have footage of a squashed pile of clothes sliding around the street until it met a wall and erected into a full human being.

- There is a large range of weapons that are ultimately extremely boring, in this game you can use a rifle as your main wepaon, or i giant axe, or a spear, or a sabre or scimitar or falcion or katana! or a mace! but there are about 3-4 kill animations per weapon type and about 2-3 different weapon types within each class and theres 4 classes (long, one handed, heavy, rifle, and we can include "guillotine guns"), this sounds like a lot but when youre mowing down endless enemies (and you will because of the appalling stealth) but its not and youre frequently watching the exact same animation 6 times in a row

- path finding for movement is legitimately embarrassing, theyve gone to the effort to decorate the streets with littered rubble and furniture because of the chaos of the revolution, without removing the pathfinding nodes, so when youre trying to run in a straight line in AN OPEN STREET youre idiot asshattin with fight you for control and AIM for mounts and obstacles to the side while you hold forward, im here writing this review because i just tried to climb a ladder, held forward and he jumped through the ladder over to perch on a toppled wooden chair in the street, i attempted this 3 times before getting it and once at the top of the ladder i failed 3 times to walk away from it because any movement besides directly away from the ladder for 5m resulted in climbing back down again, i could go on but whats the point just believe me when i say you will be audibly yelling at your PC while playing this because its near impossible to move forward in a straight line

- the main character and just about every other character is a nob, and is boring, and not fun to listen to or play as or interact with, theyre dull and vanilla and boring.

The good:

- vive la france, the time setting is rocking, its chaos in the streets and i actually saw a decapitated head which was nice.

- the riddles, theyre hard and teach you a lot and you should very much resist the urge to google the answers.

It simply adds that extra bit of personalization to my computer, its easy to use, upload, and download themes and its not taxing on my computer at all, and all the settings let you fine tune anything you may or may not want in the experience, if you want live wallpapers then this will do it for you.

Ill first target the elephant in the room, ahem - "this should have been part of base game".

Should it have been? possibly, When creating these assets for the game im sure the devs thought very hard if they were going to release this for free or not, i dont know why they chose what they did, but they did, and i personally dont have any hard feelings about paying 5$ US for this DLC, the price is just right in my opinion, any more and it would be overpriced which they could have very easily done.

Anyway, about the Quaddies, just like you i clicked on the dlc and saw the red words saying "mostly negative" and thought woah, i wonder whats wrong with it?

Let me tell you, these people saying they are unrealistic and handle like watercraft, i can guarantee have never ridden a quad bike, either that or they have only used them on fresh bitumen. Take this from someone living in rural NSW where we would ride quad bikes to work if we could register them, this DLC feels exactly like quad bikes.

I have a feeling the other users must be thinking of sports quad bikes and not farm quadbikes because i cannot get over just how accurate the sounds and the feeling of the vehicles feel, they arent VTOL's no, they slide and turn brutishly but thats how quadbikes actually are.

Look, if youre here, reading this, and you want to know if youre getting ripped off if you buy this, i can say no you wont, i dont have 100's of hours yet but the instant i took the bike for a ride i was impressed by its accuracy.

Now the last step is up to you, can you afford this? your decision. See you on the range.

This is one of those games thats simply essential, the amount of content and variety between each of the bros is just awesome and how quickly the action can go and how quickly you can switch between them makes replaying each mission over and over never lose its charm.

This is a game i can never delete from my library because ever since i bought it i always come back and play it even now and then.

I havent played this game in about a year and yet i think about it so frequently that o decided to write this review.

This game is a work of art through visuals and music and design, its not challenging at all its a walking simulator but just how beautiful it is in EVER SINGLE SCENE justifies sitting back and looking at it thinking "wow, this is simply beautiful"

Im lost for words as you can tell, i cant quite describe why this game is so captivating, but it is, it doesnt take long or cost much but the memory of it is with you forever and in moments of stress simply remembering playing the game can bring you solace. I wish the best to all that are reading this and all that are not, if you buy ABZU i dont need to wish you any more for the rest is up to you and it will come regardless of what i say.

There are a lot of things wrong that i want to describe with this game and granted it was released in 2014 BUT even in 2014 the standard was higher than this, middle earth: shadow of mordor and titanfall were released this year, but even at that i have recently played ps2 games with more refined mechanics and a better narative.

Ill summarize, narrative is 1 man army typical BS.

Besides the fact that your primary weapon is a sniper rifle it is absolutely not a sniper game.

You get rewarded more for using your welrod and shooting every single enemy on the map and getting called a "ghost" over choosing your moment and targets and being ammunition efficient.

The game spoon feeds you everything to the point of MP40 soldiers somehow having lootable Gewer ammuniton on them along with an anti tank mine.

You cant play uber stealth like a sniper would because you get more points for X-ray spotting everyone and proceeding to massacre them.

Im getting bored writing a review for a game that isnt even worth what i have typed so far.

TLDR it has a gimmick which is X-ray fatalities and THATS IT.

EDIT: i forgot to mention that even though you are encouraged to set distractions and etc, if you set dynamite and a timer on it and relocate before it explodes YOUR POSITION IS STILL REVEALED to where you are currently!

Also if there is a machine gun mounted on a wall and you want to mount it tough luck becasue the vaulting key is the same as the engage key, if you were lucky enough to actually mount the MG you immediately realise that its accuracy is by default -300%.;

Also if you surprise a soldier form a dark corner with a melee attack he will immediately identify you and dodge EVER.SINGLE.ATTACK. you put out, if you arent invisible you cannot melee attack.

This game was slapped together, its close to being described as a tech demo.

Kingdom is definitely a unique game and its aesthetics and especially its music are very attractive, but looking at Kindgom as what i is, a game? its very poorly made, the game has absolutely no information given to the player except at the start you are shown "go here, put coins here" and the rest is up to you to figure out, this would be fine as plenty of games have a learning curve of "you learn about it when you experience it" but those games usually also let the play take in what happened and try again without too much of a setback.

This game throws curveballs at you with a very specific and VERY long term planned solution/prevention (such as a sustainable economy in balance with a formidable defence) and if you get it wrong (which you will unless you watch 3 hours of walkthroughs before even playing your first game) you will suffer severely.

Examples of just plain stupid design choices;

1 - you need people to get things done, once given an occupation they will absolutely not change jobs until they are murdered by a horde of enemies, in which case they usually wander off to the edge of the map to camp next to a demon portal rather than squat within the city limits.

2 - to get people you need to run ALL THE WAY to the edge of the map to find a camp usually with 2 helpless urchins sitting around, who you then donate a coin each to give them clothes, when you drop the coin they sprint for it like hungry animals, yet once they get it they are apparently to much of aristocrats to jog like some filthy commoner and will instead meander at snails pace towards your camp, hopefully getting there in 2 or 3 days, which usually doesnt happen because each night a horde of demons comes from the same direction moving at 20x the speed they move at and they will mow those people you just gave money down and those people will then, once again, wander back to the ouuter perimetres of the map, where they will then wait for another coin.

3 - there are seasons in this game, this isnt hinted at in the slightlest and so if you (like me) set up some healthy farms with good defenses around them so you can afford to progress, winter will come along and now your farms dont work, oh and those 12 farmers you hired and bought sickles for? they just stand around in the courtyard for 3 months until the thaw while everyone starves and the waves of enemies get harder and harder.

4 - to give someone a job you throw some money into a toolbench and it produces a tool for someone to grab, the thing is there are 3-4 different benches all layed out in a linear fashion and so if you desparately need a builder to construct a new wall before the sun sets, but the farming bench is closer, he will just grab a sickle even though its winter so he can stand around and dole bludge while everyone gets slaughtered.

5 - because the villagers are beyond incomprehensibly stupid, you, as the king/queen on your royal steed must venture out into the wilderness to hopefully find a deer, sprint past it to get to the other side and haphazardly "spook" it towards the city where hopefully one the these uncoordinated neanderthals can manage to take it down yielding precious 2-3 coins!

6 - because the map is RNG and your city is usually spread thin across 50 kilometres for 2 farms and a tower, its very difficult to see how both sides of the city are doing, so if you are on the right side and the left side gets broken through and wiped, you wont know until you decide to run ALL THE WAY over there and see for yourself, usually to find a bunch of homeless beaten up villagers robbed of their tools, good luck trying to figure out how many you lost and what jobs to assign them because you cant keep track of any employment numbers unless you open up a google doc in the background and log it yourself like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ accountant.

this game feels polished in the way of art but 0 attention to how it functions as a game, if you buy this prepare to waste hours of your life aimlessly trying to learn what to do while ultimately achieving nothing.

Theres no way in hell i need to elaborate on why you should get the Witcher because im wagering 300 people have told you to play it this week.

Its hard to get into, if you get it and cant get into it, persevere, once you are invested in it you are IN IT, IN the world and its characters, its an opportunity you cant just pass up because of a price tag or game genre, whatever youre in to you need The Witcher to be part of it regardless.