Roses are red
Violets are blue
Where the ♥♥♥♥ is Half-Life 3?

You promised us, you teased us
You torment us still, you don't let us breathe
We want to play the game, we want to be free
So tell us, tell us, where the ♥♥♥♥ is Half-Life 3?

It began in 2006, we're waiting still
your rabid fanbase, your loyal hound
ready to lick butter off your feet
Oh mighty Gabe, oh PC Master Race Lord
Deliver us from evil, deliver us from thee

That's it, we've suffered enough
All the rumours and interviews and delays and t-shirts and Dota 2 leaks and Jira leaks and Persivals and Lambdas Lambdas Lambdas (lambdas in soups, lambdas made off cereal, in-game lambdas) and employee handbooks and Ricochets 2 and Minh Le remarks
I'm drunk and my girlfriend broke up with me
so please, please tell us where the ♥♥♥♥ is Half-Life 3?

I'm alone now in this world, with no purpose and no thrill
Only thing worth saving me is your sex appeal
So please, we beg you, oh mighty, beautiful Gabe
Rise from the glorious Dota 2 Playing Seat
Take the blessed tool with you, the Holy Slate
And succumb to the darkness, on your feet

"We don't go there anymore", I know
But please, lower yourself into Episode 2 Steamforums
Your name is Ozymandias, King of Kings
So look on your works, ye Mighty, and despair!
And for us, for surfrock, for smash, for Marc, for Boff's sanity
please, tell us, where the ♥♥♥♥ is Half-Life 3?