"I'm not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it's incredibly delicious."
"It's a proven fact that all plans involving bacon have a 90 percent better chance of working out."
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that bacon can improve any situation."
"Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon."
"Bacon’s the best. Even the frying of bacon sounds like applause."
"Bacon is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~~~~~~~I know, I am the man. Just give me your bacon and get in my heli. <3