If I were told at gunpoint to smoke an entire marijuana
I would just say "shoot me", because either way will have
the same result of death, and I want to die with dignity

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge, and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor’s office and when he lubes up I nearly ♥♥♥ every time. But I’ve trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius’s wrath. then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting it’s prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don’t have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it’s covered by taxpayers. That’s my fetish.

Look, I'm a simple guy. I like simple things, like building with LEGO and raw dogging my gorgeous black wife. But there are things I simply cannot abide. Two things, in fact. 1) Wearing a condom when I make aggressive, passionate love to my gorgeous black wife and 2) the price of LEGO Star Wars model number 75199 (General Grevious' Combat Speeder). Don't get me wrong, the Mace Windu and General Grevious minifigures are top notch, and sex with my gorgeous black wife is incredible, even with a condom. But the size of the model in no way justifies the $29.99 price point, and even the thinnest contraceptive device reduces the enjoyment of my gorgeous black wife's sleek ebony vagina by an unacceptable margin. I would willingly buy the set just for the figures, and I love my gorgeous black wife more than anything in the world, but until the price is more reasonable and I can safely make love to her without a condom, it's simply not realistic. Regards, Jeff

ALWAYS 🕔 make sure 👍 to shave 🔪🍑 because ✌️ the last time 🕒 we let 👐😪 a bush 🌳 in our lives 👈😜👉 it did 9/11 💥🏢🏢✈️🔥🔥🔥

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a ♥♥♥♥ on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain.

Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can ♥♥♥. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. Now you're finally ready to ♥♥♥ on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in ♥♥♥ and maybe even