juste colère
Detroit, Michigan, United States
 
 
I would cry. Cry myself to sleep knowing I'm never good enough, no matter how hard I try no matter what I do she will never love me back. After everything I've tried she won't love me, because i'm not good enough. I'm not strong I'm not smart I'm not good looking. There's other guys better then me in every way possible, I will still try but deep down inside I know I don't have a shot, even if I stay by her side and treat her better then I treat myself she will enver love me back. She will complain about guys and say how there is no one meant for her. I'll still be sitting there waiting for my turn, then one day she will start talking to me differently, Is she liking me? I will be thinking, I will revert to my old ways. Thinking that she loves me and developing hop again. She will start talking to me daily, I try to mask my true feelings but I can't. Look me dead in the eye you see a hopeful kid, after a while I will confess to her saying, Saying how I love her and want to be by her side, She knows how desperate I am from past conversations, how anyone works even if they don't give two ♥♥♥♥♥ about me. I look her in the eyes verge of crying, is this a bad idea? Will she ever love me? I think to myself, then she runs over and hugs me. She pulls me in her arms and holds me tight, I get flustered because this is the first time anyone has held me like this. I'll wrap my arms around her and start to tear up, She holds me while saying how much she loves me, she brushes my hair and says, I love you such simple words leave such an impact on me. I've never felt this love before. My mother never held me while saying she loves me. I still love my mother don't get me wrong but this is special, out of everyone, athletic smart strong. She picked me, maybe I am good enough? I think to myself. I look up to her, tears running down down my face as I lock eyes with her, her beautiful brown eyes. I lock with them as I cry a little harder,She holds me and laughs slightly. She looks down at me and says you are all messy come along let's get you fixed up. She takes me along and we go to her house, she smiles and looks at me. Hop in the shower, I'll make us some food. I hop in the shower and stand there as water runs down my face , is this a dream? I think to myself as I stand there, I hear knocking on the door which snaps me back into reality. I glance over and hear her voice, hey is everything alright? I sit there for a minute, on the verge of breaking down. Y-Ya I'm fine. I sorted it out. Ok well hurry up dinners getting cold, I jump out of the shower and get changed. walk out and have a seat at her table, I look up and see her, her amazing black hair with blond tips, her beautiful eyes and face, I blush a little bit as I start eating. we eat and talk having a great time. After she take my hand and smiles. Wear this, she takes out a blindfold and puts it on me, she leads me somewhere i feel a blanket over me then something warm pressed against my body. She takes off the blindfold and look up to see her, we are in her bed, she is holding me in her arms as I res on her chest. She moves down and kisses me as she whispers. You're good enough, I feel a chill shoot through my body, a tear runs down my face as she says. I love you, everything about is amazing your funny talented and over all amazing. I've known you've liked me for a while but only know I've realized how good you are. I love you and alway will, I want to hold you when you're sad. Laugh with you when you're happy, I want you to be mine forever. She turns off the lights and rest her head on mine. I stay there in her arms as I fall asleep. A loud alarm hoes off, I jump out of bed and rub my eyes. I look around nothing i'm in my bedroom, sigh as I look at the ground in defeat, I mutter to myself as I get out of bed and prepare for school. I need to stop dreaming
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