How? How did you miss? How could God have allowed such a thing to happen?

Suffering greatly outweighs the amount of pleasure in this world. I have no reservations about this belief.

I watched a lion eat an antelope on the Discovery Channel. I considered the antelope. I considered the suffering and agony the antelope feels as it is disemboweled and its bones are crushed in front of its family. Then I considered the meager amount of pleasure the lion receives from his afternoon snack. Clearly, pain outweighs pleasure in this cruel universe. Happiness is fleeting and rare.

I also know this to be true because you missed the shot. I am the antelope. Truly, I feel like I am being gored to death. But perhaps that is an understatement. In fact, I very much envy the antelope’s quick expiration.

It has been almost four years. It is the only thing I am able to think about. The image in my head - the missed shot - it plays over and over again. Suffering.

Perhaps the world is a thing to be escaped...

how the ♥♥♥♥

how?

How?

How?