WHY ARE TEKKEN PLAYERS LIKE THIS???

Oh, you blocked my 17-frame mid launcher? Cool, here’s the same move 12 more times until you finally eat it. Oh, you learned the matchup? Here’s a flowchart Kazuya who’s never touched a sidestep in his life but somehow still wins because electric into 50/50 vortex go brrrr.

And don’t even get me started on the "just lab it" crowd. Bro, I did lab it—then I got hit by a 200 IQ Paul deathfist raw at round start because of course that works. Why punish -13 moves when you can just YOLO a hopkick and call it "mind games"?

Tekken players will unironically:
Whiff a hellsweep in your face and still get the counterhit.
Backdash to the shadow realm, then complain about "aggressive players."
Lose 10 rounds in a row, then win one and hit you with the "?" like they solved quantum physics.

This game turns people into degenerates and I’m no exception. See you in ranked where we’ll both spam snake edges and pretend we have honor.

I'm a Mishima player

I wake up today, went to the kitchen to eat something. My dad came in and said "good morning". Poor man. He doesn't play Mishima. He doesn't know how good it is wavedashing inf front of people.

I just ignored him. If you can't EWGF, don't even talk to me.

My niece ask me to watch her dance in school, but I can't, 'cause TMM is live on twitch. Time to watch high level Mishima. The stream is going fine, but he's demoted again because of some braindead Feng player spamming ♥♥♥♥.

The stream is off, so I decide to play some tekken and do the same fancy stuff I was watching, because, you know, I'm a Mishima player. It's a Lars. LUL. This ♥♥♥♥ will never beat me. I wavedash in front of him for 5 seconds and I know I'm in his head. I do the math and decide to hellsweep, then I do another and another. The best mixup it's the no mixup. Now he's ducking all the time and I'm doing mid ♥♥♥♥. Two rounds in a row like this. Easy win.

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