Dials phone "Hello?" "Hello!" "Hello?" "Who's this?" "Who's THIS?" "I'm asking the questions. I called you." "No, I called YOU. And you sound like the ugliest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I ever heard." "You sound like the physical manifestation of some loser's inner demons" "Well, you sound like some total ♥♥♥♥♥'s inability to confront the reality of his past actions." "If I ever get your stinky mug in my line of sight I swear to jackoff I'll ♥♥♥♥ your clock off." "Well, I'm going to be the bigger man and hang up fir-" phone goes dead "Dammit!" walks outside and they encounter each other "Listen, we don't cotton to freaks round these parts. Scram, weirdo." "Oh yeah? I don't poly-cotton to coping tropes! Even my own. So why don't you split." "Looks like I already did. You're the sad figment of my twisted psyche's tragic dividend. You're the un-me. I'm the real me. You wanna be me?" "Kiddo, I was the real me when you were still in my shortpants. Hate to break it to you but I wore them first." "Me bequeathed thee psycho-pathological hand-me-downs." "So you're the one who stained them" "Whoever found it, browned it." "You'd like me to be you, wouldn't me. But it's too late. You snoze, you loze." "You sleeped, you weaped!" "You nap-uh, you get slap-uh!" "Well you slumber, a cucumber!" "You catch up on some zzz'eds, you get out of my heads!" "You slumber... hamburg I don't wanna talk about nothin else!" "Listen, this psyche is not big enough for two metaphysical seekers." "You couldn't seek your way out of a cardboard bag." "Yeah, I know. Cause it would be an egg." "Ooooh!!" turns away and thinks to self "This guy might be better than me"