dragoon4 님이 최근에 작성한 평가

piece of ♥♥♥♥ garbage turd.

Who the bloody ♥♥♥♥ gave this game positive review? Did you play this game past first 3 levels? This game is abolute piece of ♥♥♥♥♥ garbage turd. Even free to play would be to big of a price for this turd. This endurance and patience test and you expected to have whale's one for first and Buddha's for second.

If I could make this game a living being I would torture it for the rest of eternity in the most sickest and edgiest way possible. Lets start our descent into this turd slowly. It starts as okay indie platformer. First thing I didn't like is that solid objects are not properly highlighted. You know how actuallt talented level designers would make solid platforms with more bright colors while leaving background darkened. Not in this game, everything in this game looks the same and you could never tell if this is a part of a floor or platform or just background color.

Arsenal. Out turd bot posses 3 types, pea shooter that can only shoot horizontaly, manual control bullet, sub weapon such as grenade, useless ♥♥♥♥♥, useless ♥♥♥♥♥ 2 and useless ♥♥♥♥♥ 3. Sometimes you need to use manual bullet to go through couple of corridors. Could be very annoying since A) it cost "mana". B) bullet doesn't stop, you can only change its directions. But it is okay since devs were kind enough to put resuply stations near those sections.

He also can get jet pack upgrade. "Jet pack? Those are cool" you'd say, "Not in this turd" I'd answer. Controls are barely toleranbe. First thing you can start flying but either holding up arrow or right bumper. In early levels level it does not matter. But later on when you required to navigate through "instant kill" narrow coridors it is very ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FRUSTRATING. What else? Controls are bad. There is a delay in jumping and there are moments when you need that delay to seriously ♥♥♥♥ off. Those are side scrolling levels and they suck.

You want even stupider thing? Some of moving platforms... how should i say it. You can stand on them but when they move you don't. I mean you jumped on that platform and you expect to just stand on it while it moves you from point a to point b. But no you must move allong with otherwise you'll just fall down. It would be tolerable if you didn't have dash move that executes by tapping movement arrows twise. This ♥♥♥♥ doesn't make any sense since there are moving platforms that works like you expect them to work.

Wanna more? There are rip off levels of good games, mainly Battletoads. several of them, included infamous snake level. I can take serious amount of heat and ♥♥♥♥, but everyone has their limits. Mine was near the end of the game where you "fight" yellow copy of your turd bot. I put fight in quotes because you don't actually fight, you just trying to survive his greande diarrhea. And after you manage that you need to fly through narroiw corridors of air mines and after that there is aerial battle. And he doesn't have a pattern, Yellow turd bot just randomly shoots at you. While you need to maintain your altitude and avoid his bullets. I couldn't take it anymore. I said "♥♥♥♥ this ♥♥♥♥, I' not ruining my nervous system anymore". How the ♥♥♥♥ you suppose to have fun there? This is beyound ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ levels, ♥♥♥♥ the devs, ♥♥♥♥ this game, ♥♥♥♥ this blue turd bot. I'm done.

Итак, прошёл обе части, и они больше понравились чем нет. Что же в игре хорошего? Сюжет нормальный, сойдёт сай фай фентези для подростка. Персонажи конченые уёбки, почти все. Самыми нормальными людьми в игре оказались педики, что я совсем не ожидал от гомофоба гоблина. Он видимо пытался выставить их очень низко, а они получились самыми нормальными, что забавно и иронично. Они меньше всех жаждали наживи и интриги. Конечно среди гетерастов так же попадались нормальные, но я не могу нормально относиться к человеку ботающему по фене да ещё и так карикатурно.
Диалог, как сам бы гоблин сказал "тупое говно тупого говна", они не смешные и турбо криньжовые. Но для нормального восприятия достаточно у себя в голове переделывать в нормальную речь. И если бы тебя иногда не наказывали за неправильный выбор мгновенным экраном с Гейм овером, я бы их вообще пропускал. Ну пушки ещё нормальные получились, я не крузоёб чтобы впадать в аспергерский приступ из-за того, что то-то в этих пушках не реалистично, мне понравились как они делают РАТАТАТА и как разлетаются на ошмётки зеки. Из минусов, мне не слишком понравилась перелопаченая система статов. Ибо теперь из-за низкого восприятия Хартманя иногда в упор врага не видит. Особенно это раздражает когда в бою задействованы дверные приёмы, это такой ♥♥♥♥♥♥, что я его маму рот ♥♥♥♥. Ещё вспомнил, нет мгновенного перемещения по локации. И я очень хочу знать какого ♥♥♥? Особенно когда врагов на карте нет. Это бы может так не раздражало, но много квестов в этой игре это игра в живой телефон. Один зек сказал одно и послал Хартманю как чухана вафельного передать это сообщение другому зеку, а Маня и рад туда сюда бегать. Микроконтроля меньше не стало, но тут хотя бы свои своих случайно не расстреливают, что уже хорошо. Ну и конечно же игра чисто для внутреннего рынка была и нормально на английский это не переведёшь, плюс времена не те, неженки с 9999 проноунсов с запада не одобрят. Итого Хорошо, но не больше чем на один раз и только по скидке.

Very good. I just open a video of one of my favorite brittish comics stand up and play while listening to it.

Ball doesn't go where you want it go.
Bosses are too hard.
Too few lives.
You die you lose all your upgrades.
There are enemies that home in on your arkanoid and you can't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ do anything about them if your ball didn't them or you don't have pew pew upgrade.
I can't keep my concetration on both avoiding homing enemies and keeping ball bouncing.
Game is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, makes me angry doesn't even care it was 90% off.
Arkanoids games sucks in general and they are one of the reason save states were invented.

CPU is a cheating SOB that stacks gem drops and perk's activation chances in its favor.

I remembered why I deleted this garbage pile.

Very short, quite good. Clown is scary, teenagers can take several knives worth of wounds.

♥♥♥♥♥ ass pay2win ♥♥♥♥.

Imagine having your own body weight attached to your body in form of big heavy sacks. One on your chest one on your back two on each of your arms and three on each of your legs. That's how movement feels in this game.
Now imagine you mixed spicy taco with salty herring in oil and drank it all with a big mug of spoiled milk. That's timer in this game.
Now imagine all this but you are forced to ride bicycle (with extra weights attached to it) and someone follows you in hit you in the scrotum with a bo staff. That is how driving protowanzers feels like in this game.
Imagine creature 15 times sizes of your wanzers and it was doing meth and coke. Imagine those creature going full ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sonic speed around tiny area. That's how boss fighting feels in this game.
Imagine all above but now you also need from time to time pick up a rice grain while holding chopstics while your hands are amputated and if you miss the grain you fall down from your bicycle and ♥♥♥♥ yourself to death. That's how this entire game feel. Well I didn't beat it yet, not sure I'll have the patience to it but I'll give it another try,