514 people found this review helpful
289 people found this review funny
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Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 1,018.1 hrs on record (506.0 hrs at review time)
Posted: 28 May, 2020 @ 6:55am

> play 10 hours of this game, think I'm getting the hang of it, so I decide to invade the Netherlands as Germany in 1936
> get navally invaded and lose :| this game is harder than I thought it would be
> spend the next 400 hours learning to play this game by watching youtubers, studying wiki guides, and trial and error
> get a few nice achievements like unifying China as tiny Manchukuo and puppeting Japan while I was at it

> at 500 hours I finally feel competent enough to livestream a hoi4 game to friends to show off
> I'm playing as France trying to do the vive la France achievement of making it to 1948 without capitulating and it's 1946; I have already won WW2 against Germany/Italy, and I have defeated the soviet union, so all the world bar China is in the allies or an irrelevant neutral country, I just have to wait and then I automatically get the achievement
> friends are watching and I don't want them to be bored so I move all of my troops bar 3 reserves to the borders with china in Vietnam and French-occupied-siberia
> I declare war on China and the allies rush in to the chinese borders to help me
> I get a diplomatic notification
> Spain has joined the "Chinese United Front" faction
> oh♥♥♥♥.jpg
> immediately tell all of my troops in Siberia and Vietnam to march all the way across the world to get back to France while I dump out untrained troops to slow down the Spanish horde, even changing conscription laws so that now the likes of old grandpa Louis are enlisted and sent to the front lines in their wheelchairs
> the Spanish almost make it to Paris by the time my actual troops get to France
> I then realise that the Spanish army is made purely of rifle infantry with no anti tank capabilities
> I send my tank army in a straight line through the Spanish lines straight for Madrid then Barcelona and so on until eventually our borders look like the Spanish ate 3/4 of France in one giant bite excluding the coastline and the major cities, while France just sent a long snakey line through all the major Spanish cities
> The Spanish capitulate as I own ~80% of their cities but ~5% of their country's actual territory
> I make it to 1948 and get the achievement of never capitulating

Tl;Dr: I spent 500 hours making myself good enough at this game to show off to my friends, promptly almost lost in the most embarrassing way possible, then turned it around and made my friends wonder at my insane genius

And that is why I recommend this game.
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9 Comments
Strategossable 27 Jun, 2020 @ 7:36am 
:o thank you
Yuyycn 27 Jun, 2020 @ 6:50am 
Enjoy the award, you deserved it:VBOY:
YoloMc8562 13 Jun, 2020 @ 6:48am 
I wish I knew what I was doing lol
Buckaroo Cowdell 12 Jun, 2020 @ 6:14pm 
I started in HOI3 almost a year ago, got really used to it, then I got this game while it was on sale, it's so much more satisfying to swank on the world in HOI4. Makes me feel like a big brain
Mazebeefa 9 Jun, 2020 @ 1:07am 
teach me your ways
Strategossable 7 Jun, 2020 @ 4:58am 
I don't use 4chan but sure thing :P
chr0m0s0m3 6 Jun, 2020 @ 11:21am 
go back to 4chan bro
Strategossable 31 May, 2020 @ 4:10am 
Good luck, you'll need it
Mr.StinkFinger 31 May, 2020 @ 2:37am 
read this as i waited for my download. thanks for the good read and wish me luck and i venture off for the first time most likely to be forcefully punished by the opposing country. ive played total war a bit hoping maybe some skill will translate over but probably not... but i swear i will be ruthless and fear until defeat.