Steam Community :: The ugly

The ugly

sami

Sweden

Level

Years of Service

550 XP

🚬Greatest cigarette smoker of all time🚬

Personal and world records :

Marlboro gold: 15.43s
Winston red: 7.62s (WR)
Pall Mall menthol: 19.55s
John silver: 15.29s
Camel blue: 11.79s
Marlboro red: 9.98s (WR)
Camel yellow: 9.35s (unverified WR)
Chesterfield red: 10.27s(WR)

I started smoking when i was 12 years old and was quickly labelled a child prodigy by my peers. At 13 i started competitive smoking and at 14 i won my first cigarette smoking world championship, the youngest smoker to ever do so. At 17 i had three world titles under my belt and was still undefeated inside the smoking lounge. At 20 i featured on the cover of Times magazine along the header "The greatest cigarette smoker of all time" .

The year i turned 18 i lost for the first time ever against a 9y/o Indonesian kid who in many ways reminded me of my younger self. I wasn't really the same after that first loss(although i won the Championship of that year). My performance at competitions declined steadily and i lost my world title the following year and did not win it back the year after that. But the year i turned 20 i came back with vengeance after i set a new world record for the Winston red cigarettes(7.62s). That year i smoked all competition and ended the season undefeated and as a world champion once again.

That season would become my last as i decided to go out in style, i put my lighter on the shelf when I was at the absolute peak of my career. People saw it as "wasted potential" and as a huge mistake in general, no one really understood why I retired. Many called me a "coward" or "mentally touched" but in reality i had nothing left to prove with my 4 undisputed titles and numerous world records(all still unbeaten). I am and will always be regarded as the G.O.A.T cigarette smoker. My legacy will live on forever