Fun facts about my self
1. Enjoy fingering my butt and then sniffing my finger
2. I frequently wear my llama banana hammock and rub my nipples out of my window.
3. My IQ is so low that I called the pediatrician hotline for advice about a funny looking mole on my sac, I was 21....
4. For personal enjoyment I tap dance to "Baby Shark" while wearing assless chaps
5. I once projectile vomitted in an arcade bar that lasted long enough to complete a game of Limbo! Then i got kicked out without my shirt.
6. During my class camping trip i once wiped my butt with my left sock and threw it into the teachers tent while they slept. Till this day they dont know it was me.
7. I once caught a fast ball with my face, it wasnt how I planned it but now I'm missing a tooth.
8. Apparently I got knocked out during a rugby game and when the doc asked where I was. I answered The Shire. Needless to say I didnt return to finish the game
9. During a baseball game I attempted to field a groundball but it took a nasty hop to my scrotum. In extreme agony I picked the ball up and accidentally threw the ball into to the stands and lost the game. Coach asked me what happened and I said "My jewels have been disintegrated" in an Alvin the chipmunk voice.
10. During my sophomore year my girlfriend told me that her parents where asleep and that I should sneak in. So i did but I tripped an alarm and had to evade cops in a gated community by hiding underneath the spider web infested dock. My girlfriend called me later and said that her neighbor had an attempted breakin and that the cops are looking for a scronny asian kid with Dumbo ears. I didnt get any that night FML!
11. The hyphen on a keyboard can not Express how well endowed I am. I-I that's being modest.
12. During my freshman year my fine ass teacher wore a low hanging blouse that exposed her vulumotous busson, which gave me a pulsating hard on. Then she selected me to stand in front of the class to give a presentation. So I tucked it under my waist band and winged it. After my presentation i asked the class if they have any questions. The teacher asked me if i took a viagara pill.