Recent reviews by Deej The Squeej

I quit playing this game a long time ago, but now that it's in the news, I thought I'd finally give it the Do Not Recommend it deserves. This game has the most predatory microtransaction practices I have EVER seen in a game. Ben Brode is a greedy, garbage human being. ♥♥♥♥ him. I'm not surprised in the least that he did not warn US players of the game ban. I'm also not surprised in the least that he deals with shady af Chinese companies.

I'm not really sure why this game flew under the radar so much. It is insanely fun! The art makes it feel chill, while the OST gets you hype af. The controls feel very tight. The game just feels overall very polished.

My only gripe is that it's $12, and you can basically 100% it in five hours, which is not a lot of time at all, especially for a roguelite. Also, the content that the game does provide, isn't exactly complex or super in-depth. I think it should be around half the price that it is. Maybe get it on sale?

Imagine selling over one million copies of your game within the first month of release, and you take the money and run four and a half years later, all the while your game isn't even finished. ♥♥♥♥ this company. Enjoy your yacht.

The performance at launch was horrible, averaging 40fps on low settings, but since launch, there have been two bug fix patches, the first of which made the performance even worse. Now, alongside the ~40fps, there are VERY frequent, sudden frame drops down to 15fps. The combat is about the only saving grace for this dumpster fire of a game, but when the performance is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥, it gets completely nullified.

I had a couple of crashes after launch, but now, with the latest patch, the game crashes, I'd say, on average about every 30-45 minutes. Both of these issues are absolutely unforgivable, and I will not be touching the game again until they fix them.

Honestly, the people who are complaining about the DEI companions and the woke nonsense in the story and dialogue, you should've seen it coming. BioWoke practically pioneered this kind of ♥♥♥♥ in mainstream video games, so if you were blindsided by any of it, you seriously need to research video games better before you buy them.

I knew the story, characters, and dialogue were going to be cringe af going in, but I'm a big Dragon Age fan and wanted to see how bad it truly was myself. Well, it is, but I really wasn't expecting it to not be optimized AT ALL.

First of all, do NOT pay any attention to the 92% positive reviews. All of the positive reviews must be inflated by Alien fanboys. Trust me. This is NOT a good game. Where the ♥♥♥♥ do I even begin?

In the eight hours I played this before I rage quit, the majority of the time spent, I was either annoyed or frustrated. SO much time is spent hiding from enemies, specifically the alien, just waiting for them to get the ♥♥♥♥ on so you can progress. The stealth mechanics are absolute trash (in this game's defense, almost every stealth game's mechanics are trash, so this was just par for the course). Even when you're sprinting, you feel like you're crawling on the floor on all fours. There is no mini map, so I was constantly having to pull up the full map, and every time I did, there's a visual effect that happens that is super annoying, especially when you see it every couple of minutes. The very first mission was bugged, and I had to look up what to do online to make sure I wasn't completely stupid, only to find out that it's bugged. There are times where I would be hiding, and the alien would look me dead in the face and not notice me. Other times, there is no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ way the alien would see me but would bolt directly to me or my hiding spot and kill me. It got to the point where I didn't even want to explore and enjoy the world because I was constantly just trying to get to the next save point because THAT whole system is a mess. Yeah, I get it. The game came out in 2014, but I'm sorry, we've had autosave and save anywhere features for a long time before 2014. And when you die, having to redo everything you did the last ten minutes over and over, gets really freaking old.

I finally rage quit when I was just trucking along, following the waypoint on my motion tracker that the devs expect you to have up pretty much the entire game after you get it (which is insanely stupid). I rounded a corner, saw one of those map update things, interacted with it, turned to my right, saw a big group of people, thought to myself for a split second, 'Who the hell are these people?', and then proceeded to get one shot by one of them. I have no clue who they are or why they were even there. I actually thought that I was supposed to get shot until the load checkpoint screen came up.

I've been gaming for about 34 years, and I can safely say that Alien: Isolation is one of the most overrated games I have ever played.

Imagine having two anti-capitalism 'jokes' 30 minutes apart from one another at the end of the game when you overcharge the ♥♥♥♥ out of your game. This dev is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ clown. If you're going to buy it, buy it on Gee Two Eh for $2.50 like I did. Everybody who gave $30 to this dev should be embarrassed af.

Everybody leaving a positive review must've not gotten very far in the campaign, or they're bots. Once you get like 60% through the campaign, the performance of this game drops tremendously, making it virtually unplayable. I would refund, but I got it on Gee Two Eh and can't.

Edit for developer response:
My setup is WELL above the recommended system requirements. You know your game runs horribly when there is like ten or more discs on the screen at the same time. Stop acting like you don't.