Anton Ego: You are Monsieur Linguini?
Linguini: Uh, hello.
Anton Ego: Pardon me for interrupting your premature celebration, but I thought it only fair to give you a sporting chance as you are new to this game.
Linguini: Uh... game?
Anton Ego: Yes, and you've been playing without an opponent, which is, as you may have guessed... against the rules.
Linguini: [awed] You're... Anton Ego.
Anton Ego: [sarcastic] You're slow for someone in the fast lane.
Linguini: [a little nervously] And you're... thin, for someone who likes food.
[crowd gasps]
Anton Ego: I don't like food; I LOVE it. If I don't love it, I don't swallow.
[Linguini swallows nervously]
Anton Ego: [turns to leave] I will return tomorrow night with high expectations. Pray you don't disappoint me.


The divorce lawyer said to Micky Mouse: "You want to divorce your wife becasue she's very silly?"

Micky said: "No I want to divorce her because she's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Goofy"