Xerxes: "what is our Army's composition?"
Generals: "1 million strong, with a vanguard of 50,000 spearmen and 100,000 archers"
Xerxes: "add a super rhino and a cave troll"
Generals: "...sir?"
Xerxes: "and also magicians."
Xerxes: "Then throw in some dudes with six fingers and filed teeth."
Generals: "The dentists won't like this."
Xerxes: "While you're at it, give my emissary a gigantic gold chariot."
Generals: "Are you feeling okay, sire?"
Xerxes: "And make sure our arrow heads are shaped like scorpions."
Generals: "What?"
Xerxes: If my generals fail at dislodging the Spartans for even a single day, I want them executed
Advisor: That seems a bit harsh
Xerxes: For the executioner, find the fattest man you can find
Advisor: Okay
Xerxes: Then replace his hands with serrated scythe-axes
Advisor: this man will have difficulties relieving himself
Xerxes: Oh and give him some golden nipple rings while you are at it
Advisor: I'm leaving