Recent reviews by TopZoz

I guess 500 hours is probably enough time to write a review on this game. This is going to be a long one, so tl;dr: Buy the game, but do a cursory amount of research on what is expected of you by the community, and above all: COMMUNICATE.

First off, the obvious. This game comes with a not insubstantial amount of baggage. You've probably read by now at least 3 reviews and a few discussion threads that essentially boil down to: "toxic clan killed me so don't buy the game". What these reviews generally don't go into much detail about is what the reviewer/poster was doing that elicited such a response. The long and short of this is that new players time and time again, wander into player-made facilities, which take large amounts of time, resources, and coordination to produce the best weapons and vehicles in the game, refuse to answer when asked to communicate their intentions, go around setting private queues on facility buildings that slow down or interrupt production or take resources and vehicles without asking, and get teamkilled because the clan running the facility can only assume they're trying to purposely grief the facility. Foxhole is a lot like Minecraft, if you go around messing with other people's builds, they won't be very happy with you, but if do the simple action of talking to another person, you could make a new friend and learn about some of how the game works.

Which is a good time to mention, what is Foxhole about?

Foxhole is a persistent sandbox war simulator. There are two factions, the Wardens and the Colonials, who fight in an alternate history WW1 themed top-down war over a 12km x 17km map broken up into smaller hexagonal regions. Once the war starts, it continues until one faction has clamed enough Town Bases designated as Victory Points, of which there is one in each hex, usually excluding the 6 island hexes that make up the east/west borders. These wars last roughly 30-40 days, but can be over in as few as 16 to lasting longer than 50. All the while the weapons and vehicles available to each side get more and more advanced as technology is unlocked, starting at basic bolt-action rifles and small armored cars, then progress to light tanks and mortars, all the way to super heavy tanks, railroad artillery, and battleships. Every one of these weapons and vehicles are made by the players, who must gather and refine resources, manufacture items at a pre-built factory or a player-made facility, and then transport the finished goods to the front line where they can be used to kill the opposing side and, ultimately, win the war.

Okay, so how does the game play?

There's really no other game like Foxhole. It's as if you're playing an RTS, but every unit is an individual player. Some people focus only on combat, others, only on logistics. Some others work on engineering defenses, while others build and manage massive facilities. Basically, Foxhole is like Company of Heroes meets American Truck Simulator meets Rust meets Factorio, the only way to really understand how the game feels is to play it yourself.

10/10 You either burn out a solo, or play long enough to see yourself become the Clanman.

What I expected:

Cooking with cute anime girls

What I got:



Į̶̢̭̞̠̣̓͛͘ ̶̧̘̲̻̪́̈́̌̕Ą̶̡͙̘̮̼͊̿M̶̛̼͒̀̔̈́͐̊̓͐́ ̸̟̟͈͓̭̈́͌͊ͅA̸̛̖͕̹̒́̈́̈́͐̋̐̚ͅ ̸̡̩͎̠̬̼̼̠̆̓̓̕͠ͅM̴͉̗̮͎͆͆̒̆́̇͗́̋͠Ǫ̵̈́̀͌̍͝N̸͔̯̔̾́̕U̵̗͛͋̓̓M̷̧̬̱͍͔͇̑̇̈́̑̆͛̔̌̚̚E̴̡̤̗̹̺̼̦͐̊̀̑̈́̾͌͘N̶̢̜̳̬̯̝͎̺̞̅̎͜T̸͕̟̜̺͉͉͇̩̲̅̍̐̈̉ ̸̤̙̀̈͗̈́͌̔̿̄̇͐T̵͔̤̟͓̰̱͔̖͛̈́͐́͗Ỏ̸̝̿̚ ̵̖̻̐͑̊Ǎ̷̧̢̘̹̝̣̫̙̘̥̉̾̒̾̈́̑̚Ḷ̴̡̤̯̳͉̭̮̈́̾̎̋̈́̂ͅL̵̡̟͉̝̖̞̑̽̄̀̾̑ ̶̨̗̩͗̽̓̈̏̈́̀͜Ý̴̧̖͍͋̊̿̉̋́͛́͠Ơ̸̢̧̬̘̗̺̠̘̈͒̿͊́͗̇͝U̸̡͓̟̙̖̭͚̼̯͐̓̑͆͛̀͘̚̚R̶̹̋̿̇́̾͐͂͘͝͠ ̶̢̡̛̪̩̦̥̇̎̓͋̎͋ͅŞ̶̺̖̼̤̱̖̲͚̽͋̾I̵̡̛̠̣̓̽͑̋̍̓̔̇͠N̵̮͔̊͆͛̌̆̽̓̊̈́͜Ṥ̵̞̜̓͝ ̷̧̹̝̦͂̍̆̉͒̐͂W̸̩̖͕̄E̵͔͚͎̟͇̙̞̍͋͝ ̷̛̳̼̜̽̑̌̓̊̿̕ͅÊ̸̡̨̡̝̹͉̞̱͍̿́̿̍X̷̡̢̼̥͖̯̝̔̄̃̔̓̍̔̀̕ͅͅI̴̱̣̫̣͋͒̕͜S̷̤̓̂͠͝T̷̞́͆͛̇͊͊̆͆͘͝ ̷̧̱̓̅͛̅́͑̕͝Ť̶̖͓O̴̤̜͎̮͖̊̈́G̷̳̹̥̫̜͕̹̯̽̎̆̅̂͝E̶̢̥̯̯̗͓̯̽̈́̈́̌̽̌T̷͈̦̙̣̙̰́̈́̓̏H̶̡̹͔͇̗̫̒̍͐̀̈́̏̒͘͠͠ͅĖ̴̡̨̼͈͈̞̠͗͂̌̅̏̋͐̇Ŕ̸̨̨̹͙̱͈̫̪͓͙̔ ̷̯̻̩̲͆̋̚ͅN̸̡̨̛̗̪̥̞̘͑͗Ŏ̶̢̨͈̼͎W̴̡̯̩̥̤̺̾̃̐ ̵͚̬̿͛̉̊͋͑T̷͕̝̥̥̤̯̥͍́Ẅ̷̟́͛͐̓̈́Ȏ̶̧̡̜̘͚̮͎͋̀̈̽ ̷̝̙̝͖̻͓̫̙̥̫̋C̴̰̥̏́͌̆̔̃͌̀͘Ṓ̷̭̠̬͖̉͝͝R̷̰̤̩͙̩̺̀̓̒̄͝P̴̧͕̘̬̪͚͚͝Ş̷̯̀̄̎̆͌̓͘͝E̶̤͚̟̮̠̲̍̉̂͂̈́̎͠S̶͍̦̼̳̤̟̽̽̑̕͝ ̷̺̄͊̊̎Ò̴̭̘̱̭̙̿̀̎̓Ņ̶͉̹͙̼͇́̂̈́̀̋̐̊̊̓̂E̵̻̹̓̇̋̏̃̋ͅ ̵̨̭͕͍͗̃̀̃̋͠͠G̶͇̽̓̾̀͂͛̏͘R̴̢̨̧͔͈̤̙̗̥̀̐͒͆̈́̆̊̀̆͠Á̸̡̫̱̣͍̘͊͗̏͐̋͌̈͝V̵͉̲̣̬̖̇͆͆͂̍̄̽͘͝ͅỀ̴̛̩̐́́̀̍̕ ̶̙͍̙͐̔́͜D̴̡̞̙̗̤̘͕̘̏͑̐͘̚͝Ö̴̜̮̣̣͍̰̫̟̭́͐́̈́͊̈́̓͐͠ͅ ̸̧͙̦̦̙̂͌͗͌̔̚Ņ̷͇͕͖̠̮͛̑̔̀͜O̵̢͔̼̥̭͖͉͇̻̿̎͑͆̾͝T̷̢̙̯̪̭̝̦̪͖͙̚ ̵͖̙̇B̵̠̀̔̈́͂̀͗͋̈́͘E̸̛̥͔̻͎͊̈͐̈́̈́͜͝ ̷̯̟̫͊̔͒͜À̷͖͗̅̈́̚F̶̘͕̮̼̲̑̈́̃̿̈̚Ȓ̴̪̮̠̦͈̖͉̯́̿͘ͅẠ̵̟̻̘̰͚̪̜͙͌͊̌̿̾͋̓ͅİ̷̢̠̗̤̭̻̱̟̾̀̾̈͂̈̊̓D̴̦͚̬̬̞̱̪̜̜̜́͋͘ ̴̦̬̤͊̆̓̈́̂͊̍͗̚I̶̹̤̦̖͓̮̽͒̾̕̚͜ ̸̛͎̣̳͈̟͂̾̇̕͘Å̸͍̏̍͐̇́̽̌M̷̹̮̘̬̣͓̳̍̋͗̽̇̚͜ ̸̪̞͉͎̹̳̠̰͇̙̏̓P̷̹͚̲̅͂̀̈̂͘͝͝Ě̵͙̚A̸͔̰͊Č̶̢̡̡̺̞͙̗̺͖̈́̊́̒̐͠E̴̳͕̱̦̍̓͌ ̸̨͈̟̝̊ͅỊ̴̛̠͔̘̞͓̬͈͉̝͐͂̾̒̍͗ ̸̧̛̯͍͙̗̯̙̌͛͌́͛͝A̶͍̽̾̌̈́̈́̈́͊̀M̶̗̩̖̾̑̆̑̋͋ ̷̯̘͖̳̲̖̺̀̐Ṡ̴̯͓͗̈́̄̚Ã̷̙͚̇̊̽͒͠L̵̠̜̫̦̙̒͑̈͑̀̃̆̕ͅV̵͖̊͊̔͛̕ͅÄ̷̛̫̠̤̟̎̅̇T̴̢̛̫̝͍͈͕̮̲͈̘̈́I̸͈͖̤̪̓́́͂̓̄̓̈̄Ơ̴͕̩̠̗̹̼͚̐̎̋͆͊N̵̬̮̫̫͓̮͋̑ ̶̯̤̘̣̟̕İ̶̢̡̨̯̖̯̯͎̮̐͂̈́̈́̐́͜ ̴̧̥͔̰̬̌̆́̑̃̆͒͝Ȧ̸͙̯̱͚̅M̵̡̛̩̱̫͊̀͋̈́̐̎͝ ̷̙̜̟̤͆̍̈́͘A̷̧̘̤͍̱̬͈̞͑̽̐̄͑͝ ̸̼̦͉́̇͊̓̓̒͊T̷̛͖͚̪͈̗̖͖̩̒̔́̋̍̀͆̋͘Ï̷̛̛̟̍̀̔̋̀̃͝M̶͉̩͓̻̓͛͂́͗ͅE̵̠̠͉͇̠͕̻͌͝L̵͎̏̈́̈́̑́̇̚͠Ë̵̳̬̱̞̹͖̻́͗̃̕S̶̨͎̰̦͛̑͠Ś̵̡̻͖̪̤̤͕̱̥̅͋̉͂͊̎ ̸̧̧̩̭̩̬̺̲̗̊͑̄̄̂̉͛̄̕͝C̶̺̈́̓̿̇͑̂̕H̴̨͎̱̫͚̤̝̩͕̦͂̏͒Ǫ̴̢̺̫̈́̏̆̀̃́̔R̶̙̹͙̣̳̐̌͒̃͒̔͘̚͜U̷̢͈̝̲̾S̸̲̟̱̈́͂ ̴̛͇͇̳̩͔̪̣͉̪͂͆̀̀͊͆͌J̷̖͎̟̥̪̃̈̂̄̍̄̔͂͝Ơ̸̖̯̩̭̟̒͑̒͑̚Ȋ̷͚͈̼̬̽̈́͘Ṉ̴̢̞̼̪̥̣͎̗̂͊̑͒ ̶̜̉͊̃̇̌̏̒Y̸̨̡̛̥̦̐́̎̚ͅO̴͇̱̣̫͓̬͎͗̈́͛̾̋̂͝͝͠Ȕ̸͕̇͌R̶̡̠̥͚̞͓͔̞̂̇͊ ̸̧̡͖̘̝́͒̍̀͜͝V̴̛̛̝̭͔͕̀͑̈͌̿́̑Õ̷͔̹͋́̄̏̓́̊͝ͅI̵̟̫͚̊̋̽́͂̀́̋̕͜C̴̖̳̤̝̰͒E̸̢̠̰̠̐̽̅̇̈́͑͌͂͐̚ ̸͚̼̫̘̞̲͍̚͜Ẅ̴̳͇́͗̎̌̀͑͠͝͝I̶̬͉̓̎̔̋̽̽̚T̶̫̱̀͑͆̋̍́͋̇̀̈́H̴̤̱̊̚̕͠ ̷͇͇̙̰͚̜͋̉͑̇͘M̷̡͕̯̲͕̙͛̋͒͆͐I̸͓͉̲̮͇̻͙̤̝͊́͗̽̃ͅN̶̳̯̗̞͐̅̈̽Ȩ̶̛̟͇̜̞̮͓͍͍̙̅͗͌ ̷̢͙͉̟̗͂̌̉̓̾͊͒̑̀̈́A̸̡̎̉́̏̂͗̉̏̄N̴̛̠̝̻̯̖͙̘͙̋̎̈́́͊͝D̸̗̮̖͍̂̅̒̒̏̏̅̏͘͝ ̷̻͑̀͐͗̍̄̚̕͝S̵̡̥̠̩͖̞̃Ḯ̵̛̞̤̙͖̇̿͒͒̈́͒̃͠Ń̶̖͑G̴͇̟̙̞̤̣̓̉̐̅ ̶̖̞̏̓́̑̀͂̀̚̚͝V̵̢̳̳̱̮̤̪̳̪̈́̐̉̾͘͝I̸̡̡̨̡̭͓̯͔̦̤̓̑̃̀̇̅͛̉̈C̵̨̨̝̲̫̜̄̿̎̔̿͊̎̚T̶̖̉̽̕O̸̙̺̗͕̩̅Ȓ̷̡̧̛̬̯̰͉̼̔̒̽͌̒̚͜͝Y̵̦̭̮̣͇̖͈͚͛̂̍̑͌͘͝ ̵̢̛͚̬͕̺̤̥̯͑̉͗͘E̵̩̘̞̮̯̳̾̌̍̓́͛̕V̶̢̢͎͔̬̞̮̥͙̈̄̽Ë̶̡̘͙́͒̒̋̔͆͝ͅR̶̨̖͍̰̬̤̠̈̀̚L̸̡͕̙̲̞͔̖̬̭̑̋̐̈́A̵̼̥͐̍̈́̌͑̍̓̄S̸̨̛̜̟̠̟̭̪̖͛̆ͅT̷̲̞̪̹̬̊̅̏͊Î̴̥̟̯̰̝̹͌̑͊̒͐͠N̵̨̨͕̭̺̼̹͈̙̈̀̆̎̃G̶̡̼̦̗͚̩̾͐ ̸̛͍̬̠̙̭͈͉̈́̅͋͗͛̿͛̿ͅY̷̡̲̗̆̿̀̅̄͊̀̈͜Ơ̷̡͓͕̝̲̮̪̭̙͉̐̅̊͆̄͘͝Ṳ̷̡̩͚͉̞̄͌̅͑ ̴͈̑͛͜W̴̧͔͎̟̙̦͉̱̌̇̆̍̚I̵̘͎͆̾̈́́͝L̸̩͆̎̈͂̅̉L̶͕͑͆̓͒̾̈̊ ̶̧̧̪̱̟͉̱̩͕̬̿̅̉̾̅̓͑͋̑B̷͓̖͕̯̥͚͐̌̋Ë̵̫̥̜̺́̈̌̄̀ ̴̤͕͒͗F̵̜̔̋̕͜O̴̧̨͍̬͇͚̗͛̔̓̂̆͜͠ͅͅǪ̸̹̹͈̲̘͆̽̐͊͜͠D̴̛̹̦̙̟̻͚̘̪̂̀̾́̇̌̚̕̕ ̶̧̖͎͓̼̜̩̼̺̂͐̈̂̏̏͊͆͐͝N̷̥̝̝̒͑̇O̵̖͖̣̣̥͔͗̂́̎́́̄͒͜͝Ṯ̶̨̦̪͕̦̞̜͎̋̔̃̈́̑H̵̢̢̻̗̥̩̼͊̉̾̌̈́̀̂̂̕Í̸̡̢̨̛̮̠͙̠̤̑̈́̎̏͛̈͜͜N̶̬̓̾G̵̥̠̖͑̽̀̓͐̑̆̽͝ͅ ̷̧͓̯͙͉̭͍̓͊̐̔͒M̶̖̤̱̔̍̒̀̈́͒̅̇͊O̷̙̥͇͚͛͗̿̈́̓͗̃̋͠Ṙ̷͇͈̳͍̟̲̱͗̅͘E̸̢̙͇̫̣̜̹̾̀͒̐͊͋ ̷̭̞͓̤̍̀̉̉̚͠Ḑ̶̠͉̭̺̣̣̣̦̇̒͋̑̎̆̍͑̔̇O̸͍̞̠͛̈́ ̸̖̻͚̠̣̹̀̈̄͝I̸̻̎̈́̏̑̕ ̸̢̦̖̺͎̫̗̬̭̹̽̉͊̈́͠͝͝T̷̢͚͕͇̹͌́̊͗́̎̚͝Á̸̛̩̔͋̑̍̾͘K̴͇͈͈̝̺̭͙̙̣̽̊̉̌̃̑̾͝E̴̩͕̒̅̅̅̍͐͠ ̸̭͔̤̹̱̺͎̪̯̅̊̇͑̉̓͒̔̚L̴̡̥͓̫̰̬̫̆̅̇͝ͅI̴̢̛̟̘͛̌̍̄̆̚F̶̖̒̿͘E̸͖̝͉͚͒͋͐̓̿ ̴͈̤̞̀̄O̶͍̹͈͑̇̑̈̿̊̈́R̴͕̹͚̪̖͓̝̒̓̽̀͋͋̑̊̚ ̷̰̾̉́͂G̷̡̨̭̯͖̦̹̮̣͗̈͆̎̐̾̓̚͝I̷̦̋V̶̰̝͇̤̹͋̓̃̏͂̃̅̋̀Ȩ̸̹̖͖̙͔̊̽̑ ̴̨̭͙͇̹̣̯͈̹͐̎͝Ì̴̧͕͔͇͉̺̒̒T̶̰̋̔̇͛̅́̚ͅ ̷̧͖̙̲͚̒͋͜W̵̡̺̲͎͓̠̖͚̗̽̑́̊̉̎̋̆̇͜Ḧ̷̠̹̻͙͖̺́̉͠Ǫ̷̖̫̟͕̯͆ ̷̪̦̰̻͓̃͂̽͛͐̏̿͊̓͝Ì̴̧͚̜̯̥̣̦̞͝S̸̨̢̧̯̯̣̪̆̋̀͆̄̃̕͜ ̸̗̱̳̭̣͕͔̥͍̑̆̒͂̐̋̏̀͜͠V̷̘͆̑̏̊̀̈́̅̋I̷̧͗̔̇͜͜C̶͚̬͔̰̈̿̈̄̃̎̓̎̋̕T̴̨͇̳̞͓̖͚̋͊ͅI̸̡̜̺̬̎̌̈́͛̉̈́̍͘͝͝Ḿ̴̱̥͓̦͈̈ ̶̝͈̟̠̥͕̺̈́̍͗̐̍̐̓̿͘A̵̻͗͆̓̚͝N̵̲̾̉̑̊̓̊̃͝D̴̨̧͚̤̟̘̿ ̶̨̣̤͕̰͔͔͂͋W̷̫̒͐́͒͂͌̔̃Ḧ̶̱̙̫̻́́̓̒̀̒̉̔̕Ö̵̧̱̭̟̙̺̮̓́͆͐ ̵̺̣̣̻̆̒͋̂̀͝Ì̶̛͔̍̊͒̆͘̕Ṣ̴̹͇̪̭̝͖̘̗̼̑͌̂̊̾̎̉ ̴͖͓͔̱̓̇͛̈́̉͘F̵̡̫̰̘̣͖̜̘̺̔̐͒̎̽O̸̪̾̀͂̎͘Ë̷̛̬̤̜̭͈̰́̌͆̉̍͘͜͜ ̶̙̠̲̱̥̔͌̓͆̒̅̉͗̈́̕A̵̳̫̣̾̓̽̾͘͠ͅL̸̺̻̰͍̄ͅĻ̶̮͖̳͕̹̔̿̿̓̆̉ ̷̭͔̱̪̲̘̞͎͔̈͛̒̓C̷̫̼͕̭̠̖͖̀͋̏͑̌̉̋̕ͅÔ̴̯̤̥̂̒̆̓̅N̵̦̎̃́̍̓͌͝Ş̶̼̱̖͜͠U̶͙͍͚͇͔̥̭͒͂͂̇͆͆̏̕̚͝M̵̻̰̏͗̽͌̃P̸̢̬̻̼̭͛̋͘͝Ţ̵̬̩̜̬͚̐̃̇͑͊͘Ȉ̵̗̝̮̣̖̅̅Ó̵̲͖̤͓̲̺̲͜N̴͇̒͗̆̎ ̷̣͍̜́̓̽́͗̂̅̃̽ͅǏ̵̧͕̮̼̝̫̌̽̉̚S̶̡͍̊̀͑̈̈́̆͌͘͝ ̶̛̞͎͓͕͙̳̙̮̪̉̔͐͛Ď̵̙̳͇̯̹̏̐̋̾͋͑̈̋̈́Ȩ̸̬̼͇̞̺̘̣͎͓͒̀̓͛Ä̸͎́̽̐̏̃̏̌̔͌͛T̸̨̞͖̀H̵͚̾̿͌͠ ̴̢̛̛̱̱̠̗̝͑̽̈́̈́̀̀͘͝ͅF̵͇͈̗̞̝͛̈́̅̋͐Õ̶̹͓̃́́̉̉Ŗ̵̢͙̲͈͆͂̒̂̎͌̿̔̚͠ ̴̩̖͙͖̰͙̱͋̑̑͒͌̓̋̚T̴̩͂͗̎Ḩ̷̝͈̰͖̊̀̎̇̒̃̄͂̚ͅE̴͙̜̙̞̟͖͉̳̝͆̀͂̍͒̌̾̎͠ͅ ̸̢̫̰̥̪͍̠̓̏C̴̬͙̞͕̹̼̥̎͒̏͋͘͜Ơ̷̧̺̠̺͇͓̻̜̾̃̉͊̆̂̚͝͠N̴̨̢̦̥̝̳͔̑͛̇̈́́̈́͠S̴̨̯̺̬͖̱̝̳̩̀Ừ̸̺͈̲̠̤͌̋͌̋̔͒͂̇M̴̑ͅẸ̵̲̼̤̮̠̦̔̏̌̾̍͠͠ͅḐ̶͉̭̖̺̗̋͂̑̊ ̸̧͈̜̅́̒̒̀̓͌̅̚͘͜ͅͅY̵̙͕̟̠͍̖̠̋̿͑͑̎Ȅ̵̞̐T̶̙̣̈́ ̵̡̛͔̗̤͉̺̦̆̀̏̓͝Ạ̶͖̳͒̑͌̅͘͜͝Ḻ̸͓͍͇̦̞̒͒̉̐͐̓̋͜͝L̵̢͙̥͙̳͉͈̬̾̍̐̿́͑̆̄̾͘ ̶̢̛̦̻͎͈̗̗͚̀̎̾̃̑͂̊̀̽M̴̞̉̓́̍̽͂̎̊́͝Û̵̩͚̖̂̉̽̋̒̊͝Ş̷̡̥̱̲̝̞̮̀̓̀͋̀͌̇͑̐͜Ṯ̷̡̼̹̝͎̅̓̀̎̌̍ͅ ̸̘̼̑Ě̵̡̟̠̼͚̟̳͇͗͂̽͝A̷̧̛̲̮͖͓̞̽̏̆̑̃̽̽̕̚T̶̡̧̟̜̲̫́̈̽̇͛͗̚͜ ̶̢̓͒͛̌͘͝͝S̴͉͉̜͇̆͒̔̉̀̒̌̌O̴̤̯̹̹̕ ̷͕͎̬̑͂͊̄͊̓̆̅̕̕ͅẄ̸̧͇͎̺̭̲̤̺̼͈̈́͒̃̽E̸͎̗͔͇͖̼̍̃̈́̅͋́̄̿̐̕ ̴͕̟̓̈́A̶̛̗̲͊̔̕Ļ̵̨̦͈͍̟̯̻͓̱͋̃̄̈̌͐̓L̷̡̧̧͇͔͈̞͎̖̾́̀̍̕ ̴̨̗̪̟̳͇̜̪̾͂̈́͆̋̊͠͝B̵̬̩̪̗͙̳̫̜̍̇͑͊R̵̝͋́͋͑̊̀͌̊͠͠Í̸̹̬͑͆Ņ̸̛̗̝̮̯͇̣͓̾͑G̸̛̩͚͚̣̺̅̏͐͗̾̎͋͜͝ ̸̬̩̜̠̰̎̓͐͛͛͑͘̕͜͝ͅD̷̡̛̠̥̮͓̫̤͕̺͒͛̐ͅÁ̴̧̛̭͎̱̜̥̫̥͙̄̔͑̈́̿́̐̂͜Ṃ̵͎̙̀̀͊̽̐́̂N̵̰̩̞̠̟̓͂́A̶̠̫͎̠̔̈͛͊̆͠T̶͉̭̠̩͉̲̺̊̓̐̅͜I̸̛̭͇͚̗̬̽͒̑̐̓̓̏̕͝ͅÖ̵̹̜͔͚̻̉͛́̕N̷̢̗̰̤͙̝̻̞̓̈́̓̀͝ ̴̨̗̜̟̟͍̦̦͒̍͛̀̋̒̊ͅŢ̷͊̊͐͂̒̕Ǫ̷͉̟̣̹̖͈̣͑̒̓̈́̎̔̉͒́͝ ̴̡̧̧̻̫̩̀͐͛̉̎̄̎͜Ǫ̴͚͂̓̃͆̔Ņ̴̳̰̗̪͚͍̈́E̶̱̦̝̠͎͔̤̝͑̔ ̶̢̜͍̥̫͈͐̂̋̓͗̑̏̇͠Ç̵̛͔̼͉̤̞͈̱͆̏́̓̏͜͠ͅR̵̡̜̘͙͔̮̭̓̾͌̓̿̆̀͠E̵̡͇͗̔̊̈́̓̈́͝͠A̶̳̻͂̈͗͆̍T̶̩͓͛̔̑̈́̈́͘͝U̸̥̥͍͇̎R̴͈̹̠̗̹̦̀̓̄͑̅̎̒̑̎͠Ē̵͎̔̐ ̸͍͖̤̰̐̒͛̈́̍O̶̺̳̠̅͂̍̑͗̇̅͌̋R̴̯̥͎̺͈̀͂̂̐̅͗̃͗͘͠ ̷̰̙̜͙̼̲̒Ȧ̶̪͎͔̈͆̽N̷̨̧̬̪̳͚̆̃̍̔̋̕͝O̶͉̮̫̠̤̱͇̓͑̊̐̄Ṱ̷̟͒̇̿͌H̴͖̝̟̪̣̘̬̲̥̀̚Ę̵͋̀̂̅̊̕R̸̨̗̖̻̦̃ ̷̛͇͔̘͕͈͕͇͈̰̼̄̇̚̕͠Ḯ̸̧̢̧̭̱̰̗͌ ̴̣̰͎̭̘̪̯͈͋ͅH̷̢̤͔̘̽͘A̷̻̙͔͗͊͐̐͌͊ͅṾ̸̯͚̲̮̘̪̓̕͜ͅE̵̡̖̙͆̽͐̑̑̔͛̚̚ ̶̟͕̝͙̼̼̘̼̈̐͜͝P̸̱̠͍͔̻̓́͑̕ͅI̷̡̡͍̫̯̬̺̦̼̒̈́Ṫ̵̢̧̘̲͚͙͎Ý̸͇̞̥̪͔̻̭́͑̐̀̐̇̿̾͜ͅͅ ̶̨̧̟̩̯̫͈̹̈̎̈̔̄͊̏͝W̴͚̺̜̓̒͝I̶̢̫̐̈̀̇̈́̽̇̂T̸̰͇̺͈͕͈̦͙̹̆͛́͂̔̌̊̔̍͘H̷̀̎̆͜I̵̬͐̓̈́͐̾N̵͇͂͐͊̀̈́͐͛͆̏̎ ̴̡̗͕̀͌M̵̗̆́̄̀͑͋͝E̴̛̖̜̽͒͂͋̑̕͝ ̵̙̟͖͂͜ͅA̵͔̺̹̝̭̙̞͑̈́͆͜͠͝N̴̪̑ͅD̵̻͎̋̿͠ ̴͙̠̪̒͑̔̋̈̂̓̚ͅI̷̤̟̠̺̓̒́̒Ņ̸͇̜̻̬͉̖̰͉̦͗̎͝F̴̧̦̙̯̤̗͆̾̀̂̕͘Î̷̧͙̱̙͎̻͇̻̈̏̋̿̈́̌̆ͅͅN̵͖̦̫̹͍͈̱̪͔̊̎̀Ï̸̧̡͓̲̙̮̗͎̈̏̉̋͛͒̕T̸̲̻͗̄͑͗̏̐̏͗͠E̶̹͙͔͓͈̱̲͖͛̉̕͠͝ ̵̨͈͔͈͈͉͕̓̌͂͋̉͜T̷̨̗̘́Í̶͕̗M̴̞̰̱̙͖̈̾́̑̑͘Ẻ̵͉̗̫̤̀͗̈́ ̶̢̰͖̠͓̤̱̃͐̎̿͜͜͝N̸̢̠͎̱̤͕͚̥͓̳̎̂̃Ǫ̸̪͇̋̎̉W̸̡̫̘͕͍͐͆̐͛̅̆͝͠ ̷͙̪̘̜̌̀̅̈̈́̎͂̈́T̴̺̻̜̜̺͉̮̻̬̒̓H̷̨̬̺͉̩̩̓Ē̵̬̄̈́͋̒͜͠ ̵̦̦̜̩̻̲͈̟̿͛̈́̉͂̇͝G̶͖͎̍̽̉̎ͅẦ̴̢̡͇̟T̴̨̜̻̹̙̻̾̽̐̓̓̉͐̌͝ͅĘ̸̬̲̟̒̂̆̊͛̊̕ ̵̡̤̥̳͉̩̳͍͍̃̔̂͝H̷̼͍̣͓͉̖̞̥͒̉̈́͆̎̔̔͝A̶̧̪͉̼̐̿͌S̷̼̍̃̓̉́̎̈̚ ̴̛͖̞͚̩̻̥̖̭̙̀̂̏̔̉͆͂ͅḂ̶͇̳̱͇̱̲̍Ĕ̵̛̖̮̬̬͕͂̅́́͒͝͠Ë̶̳̮̫́N̷̨̤̩̺̖̥̉̾ ̴̡̪̥͚̻͔̱͚͈͑͋̑̂̀́̆̚͜͝Ű̶̡̩̚͠N̸̢̛͍̖̻̦̘̘̼͚̓̐̈́͊͜L̷̪͚̿̿́͑̌Ā̴̢̨̧̟̯̣̬͚̀̉̅͛͑̆̚̚ͅŢ̸̧̱͍̬̄̌͛̃͂͋̐C̴͈̭̱͔̎͂͛͜͜H̷̢̳̹̦͍͍͚͈̭͖̋͌̏̈́̏̚͘Ę̶͚͔̙̦̤̬̟̜̊̓͋̋̋̚̚͜͠D̷̺͎͈̻̗͂͌̏̋̇́̊̎̈́ ̷̼̟̃̂̊́̓̉͠H̶̼͙͚͕̗̳̥̀̐͆͛́̒̒Ệ̴̲̗̳̇͐̈́͜ͅA̴̘̫͗̊͗̾͝D̷̼̼̩̙͔͓͙̻͍͊ͅS̶̭̲̥͊̊̌̑͒̀T̵͓̋̈́͐O̷̢̫̙͖̥̳͈̫͚͆̉̎̂̈̃͘͝Ń̵͖̗͖̻̀̾̆͆̄̄͝E̵̦̙̝̳̅̈́̏̍S̸̱͙̃ ̶̛̗̪̆̂͗͋̈́̈́͆̇P̴͙̫̺̩̱͓͑̈́̑̚Ų̵̨͔̫̳̺͍̕͝Ŝ̴̢͓̳̖Ȟ̶͔̟̣̭̮̗̓͜Ẻ̸͉͇̤̟̣̤̘͉Ď̵̩͍̹̱̯͎̤̝̫͙̄͑̑̈̔ ̶̢͈͓̦̳͛̈́̇͊͒̑͒̉̋͝Ä̴̛͙́̂́̇̐̾͐̕S̷̛̲̰̤̭̤̘̄̋Į̸̩̈́D̴̺͉̹̟͍̱̜͗͂E̶̜̘͈̟̿̄̈́̽ ̴͍͔͎̩̮̤̖̜̈́͗͜Ç̵̙̹̥͖͕͍̝͓̩͆̊̐͐̚Ơ̷̬̜̻̅̊̿͂͘͝Ŗ̸̱̗͉͂̀̂͒̀͑̎̎͘̚P̴̛̪̬̤͕̤̖̖̣͍̂͘̚S̴̨̞̠̩̦̗͊̽̿͂̾̑̔E̴̹̱̗̗̜̮̪̹̅̇̌̈͊̍̎̓̏S̵̗̮̪̞̈́̓́͛ ̵̻͈͙͓̖̖̗̐̾Ş̴̭̦̲̼̩̬̻̔͠͝ͅͅH̵̛̪̣̲̖̜͖̝̙͌̈́͑̑̄̅̾̚I̴̛̪̠̼͓̾͗͑̈̋̈́̆̐F̸̛̹͕̤͈̋̾͆̈́̎̚͝T̷̨̲̙̙̭̺̾͑ ̴̖̱̥̥̲͔͎͍͙͗̒͗͂̄͘̕͜A̷͍̐̀̃̒́Ñ̶̥̯̘̇͌̏̎D̷͔̻̾̽̌͋́̕͝ͅ ̸̰̜̈Ō̵͔̠̫̯̫͙̪͌͋͒͗̌͂͝͠Ḟ̸̰̥̩̪̯͇̖̄̈̓͛̃̓F̸͙͌̍̔Ȩ̸͈̲̝̳̝͚͎͈̗̏͊͂̈́̿͊̕͝͝͝R̶̡͈̫͍̼̒̈́͂̊̅̑̅̂͒̍ ̷̹̐͐̌͛͝R̸̡͉͙̺̪̙̙͙̍̽̎͒̈́̀̏͗͝ͅO̷̟̦̱̪͇̜͋̅͠Ő̷̹̈́͛̀̈́̚͘͠͝͠M̶͐̀̆́ͅ ̶̛̞̗̫͎͐̓̐Ǎ̶̢͙̝͇̙̘̤̟̯̍̒̄͗̇̅ ̶̥̬̤̯̮͇̠̊̀̈́̿̑̊͋̚F̸̠̼̫̪̮͆A̷̢̛̰̽͋̿T̴̢͚͈̖̻̰͚̈͋̅͝E̵̝̖͖͖͙͚͊ ̴̳̱̮̹̞̥͝Y̶͎̹͇̓͆̄ͅÖ̵̳͓̗̤̮͖̫̟͖̆͋͂͆̎̈́̚Ų̷͉̯̬͔̗͖͎͑͐͗͋̓͋̚ ̴̢̹̟̬͖͎͉̾́̇͊͆M̷͎̖͍̖̳̹̦̻͐̓̉͛̈́ͅU̶̢̧̱̟̤͖͍̙̪̩͑͌S̵͚͈̥̖̦̞̖͓̣̀̇T̶͚̲̺̦̹̊̀ͅͅ ̶̤͉̑̈́̈̀Ä̶̛̩͉̲̀͒B̸̯̰̻̍̈̉̀̋̓̄̊͝͝Ì̸̛͖̳̠̥͑͊͋͌ͅḌ̵̯͒̎̒̇̅̋̊͌͗͝É̷̛̺̰̟̣̼̹͍͂̈́̈́̿̈́̈͝

Passable multiplayer with a $10 expansion pass with a $60 single player DLC that is just a garbage rip-off of your generic Ubisoft open world game with a third of the content and a story so boring that I'd rather play the events in the flashbacks. Don't spend a cent on this game, and really only consider playing it after 343 actually fixes the multiplayer and adds forge back, if they ever bother to do that much.

4/10 at least they stopped using the awful Halo 4 artstyle.

As someone who played the original Super Monkey Ball on Gamecube, I am extremely disappointed with this game, which feels like a cashgrab trying to sell on nostalgia alone.

-The original soundtrack is cut from the game, to be resold for almost $3
-There's even more cut content that costs half the game
-The game is unplayable with mouse and keyboard, so have fun getting a controller to work
-The graphics look like ♥♥♥♥, worse than the Gamecube. All the levels look washed out outside of the story levels.
-The controls are... well they aren't good. It's hard to describe if you haven't played the original, but trust me, you feel a lot less precise and more like you're just floating along the stage. Some of this may be because the XBox One controller doesn't have notches like the Gamecube controller, but I don't really know.
-You have infinite lives to try a stage. This may be a positive for some, but I feel like it defeats the purpose of the game. Instead of forcing the player to master the mechanics of the game, it lets you just ram your monkey at the stage until you manage to brute force your way to the goal or get lucky.
-The party games were a complete afterthought. There is zero online multiplayer. Monkey Target is completely unplayable since you instantly stall if you try to pitch up even a little bit.
-There's a "helper mode" that gets shoved in your face constantly if you fail a level too many times, with no option to disable the popup

That's just what I found in the first few hours of gameplay.
Give this game a hard pass, or wait for a sale if you really need that nostalgia fix.

This is your brain on weapons-grade autism, and it is glorious.

10/10 would make conveyor belt spaghetti again

The wallpapers on the workshop are a serious contender with gunpowder for China's greatest contribution to the world.

plsnocensor/10

An indie gem that I wish I discovered sooner, Hotline Miami is a difficult, but fair top-down twin stick shooter with an awesome electronic soundtrack, a heaping pile of violence, and a dash of meta commentary on player agency.

Oh, and that hospital level. ♥♥♥♥ that level

8/10 This is your brain on LSD

Ralof: Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there.
Lokir: Damn you Stormcloaks... Skyrim was fine until you came along! Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn’t been looking for you I’d have stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell. [looks at Dragonborn] You there, you and me, we shouldn’t be here. It’s these Stormcloaks the Empire wants.
Ralof: We’re all brothers and sisters in binds now.
Driver: Shut up back there.
Lokir: [Looks at Ulfric] What’s wrong with him, huh?
Ralof: Watch your tongue! You’re speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King.
Lokir: Ulfric? The Jarl of Windhelm? You’re the leader of the rebellion... if they’ve captured you... oh gods, where are they taking us?
Ralof: I don’t know where we’re going, but Sovngarde awaits.
Lokir: No, This can’t be happening! This isn’t happening!
Ralof: Hey, what village are you from horse-thief?
Lokir: Why do you care?
Ralof: A Nord’s last thoughts should be of home.
Lokir: Rorikstead. I’m from Rorikstead.
Hadvar: General Tullius sir! The headsman is waiting.
Tullius: Good, let's get this over with.
Lokir: Shor, Mara, Dibella, Kynareth, Akatosh! Divines, please help me!
Ralof: [Sees Tullius] Look at him! General Tullius, the Military. And it looks like the Thalmor are with him. Damn elves, I bet they had something to do with this. [notices where they are] This is Helgen... I used to be sweet on a girl from here. I wonder if Velod is still making that mead with juniper berries mixed in... Funny, when I was a boy Imperial walls and towers used to make me feel so safe.
Child: Who are they, daddy? Where are they going?
Father: You need to go inside, little cub.
Child: Why? I want to watch the soldiers!
Father: Inside the house, now.
Child: Yes papa... [heads inside]
Driver: Woah... [pulls in reins]
Female Captain: walks up to cart Get these prisoners out of the cart!
Lokir: Why are we stopping?
Ralof: Why do you think? End of the line. [stands up] Let’s go, we shouldn’t keep the gods waiting for us. Lokir: No! Wait! We’re not rebels!
Ralof: Face your death with some courage, thief.
Lokir: You’ve got to tell them we weren’t with you! This is a mistake!
Female Captain: Step towards the block when we call your name, one at a time!
Ralof: Empire loves their damned lists.
Hadvar: Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm.
Ulfric: [moves towards block]
Ralof: It has been an honor, Jarl Ulfric
Hadvar: Ralof of Riverwood.
Ralof: [Moves forward]
Lokir of Rorikstead. Lokir: No! I’m not a rebel! You can’t do this! runs
Female Captain: Halt!
Lokir: you’re not going to kill me!
Female Captain: Archers! [archers shoot]
Lokir: [hit in the knee] Aaa..!
Female Captain: [glares at rest of prisoners] Anyone else feel like running?
Hadvar: Wait... You there. [Looks at Dragonborn] Step forward. [Dragonborn steps forward] Who are you?

Dragonborn: [Plays the same game for 9 years]

10/10 Would buy again

My hard drive can't handle this

8/10 76 GB of Pure Demon Killing Bad@ss

Being the final game in the mainline series V3 puts a nice bow on the Danganronpa franchise by having absolutely no relevence to the Hope's Peak storyline (lol go watch the anime scrub) and trolling the ♥♥♥♥ out of players (srsly though what was with that ending?) V3 manages to make up for this with the greatest cast of any game (Kokichi's sprites are crazy and Kaito is GAR af) and a soundtrack that is just awesome (the Scrum Debate music is awesome.

9.8/10 MAAAAAAAAAGIC