Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

╭━━━╮╭━╮╱╭╮╭━━━╮╭╮╱╱╱╭━━╮╱╭━━━╮╭╮╱╱╭╮ ┃╭━╮┃┃┃╰╮┃┃┃╭━╮┃┃┃╱╱╱┃╭╮┃╱┃╭━╮┃┃╰╮╭╯┃ ┃┃╱┃┃┃╭╮╰╯┃┃┃╱┃┃┃┃╱╱╱┃╰╯╰╮┃┃╱┃┃╰╮╰╯╭╯ ┃╰━╯┃┃┃╰╮┃┃┃╰━╯┃┃┃╱╭╮┃╭━╮┃┃┃╱┃┃╱╰╮╭╯ ┃╭━╮┃┃┃╱┃┃┃┃╭━╮┃┃╰━╯┃┃╰━╯┃┃╰━╯┃╱╱┃┃ ╰╯╱╰╯╰╯╱╰━╯╰╯╱╰╯╰━━━╯╰━━━╯╰━━━╯╱╱╰╯

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░░░░ ▐ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ’▌░░░▀█▄
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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
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░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌POST THIS ON 6 STEAM PAGES OR GET DIAGNOSED AS HIV-POSITIVE!!!

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.

░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▐ It's time for the spooky scary skeletons to come out
░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄ Lock your doors
░░░░░▐▀█▀▌░░░░▀█▄ Turn off your lights
░░░░░▐█▄█▌░░░░░░▀█▄ Because the bones are coming out
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░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀ succ
▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ me
▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀ dry
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Boy you aure are sexy as ♥♥♥♥ I WANT YOUR MEATTTT