very strange guy

yoo i met this guy in the hospital lol (we both died due to brain damage because we played so much)

I can confirm this man is a real menace to society. When our teammate (green) called for an eco, this man made the stern decision to spend all but $50 of his money. When our teammates retaliated and questioned him down the mic, he proceeded to spend the last of his money on a decoy grenade and throw it at green as soon as the round started.
Green then proceeded to have a manic episode and went afk for the rest of the game.
We later deduced (in the penultimate round) from the chattering of the paramedics that green suffered from an aneurysm induced stroke.

Fishman: 1 Green: 0

gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang

Dear all,
I regret to inform you that after my recent visit to the shared bathroom, I have managed to clog the toilet and in fact crack it. As you may be aware, a crack means diarrhoea will likely leak out the seams. If you have any care for your mental and physical health, please do not enter this bathroom. Instead, I request you to utilise our neighbour's across the street, Jason's Kebab Van. Again I cannot stress enough, the state of the bathroom is abysmal and I most definitely and regrettably have indeed committed a war crime. Since the situation, I have converted to ALL 236 religions listed on Wikipedia and have been praying to 143 different gods for forgiveness.

Tomorrow, I will be attempting to clear my name by manhandling 98 kilograms/ litres of my own excrement (state of matter yet to be determined). I have prepared my will for the likely chance of no return. I love my wife and daughter. Philis, it was me who ate your lunch every week.

I hope you remember me a hero,
Yusuf

i make play with you are brother. many good personings. but one day, berry big PROBLEMS! i shock me SHOCK!! bilo is make flashbang towards me but not me and to you but just to yes. i am thinking this one sometimes is corruption of slavic entertainment systems of the united nations>!?! but i make talkings with friend about political problems in arab world and they are tell towards me this is NO PROBLEM!. but i am understanding this one NO!!!! PROBLEM.... WOWWW!!! bERyy DANgEREIOUS!! big problem and make economic state of russian ruble much smal towards african rupee. i am say to him. this is end. i am finish this one! but today, i forget this, and i buying my self hummus sandviching. mmmm... very good one this one