King Arthur: Now, we are about to attempt to cross...the Bridge of Death! The
gate-keeper of the Bridge will ask any who attempt to cross five
questions---Sir Bedevere: Three, sire.

Arthur: (pause) Oh, yes, three. He who successfully answers these five
questions--

Bedevere: Three, sire!

Arthur: (slightly longer pause) Ah, three, then...er, may pass in safety.
However, anyone who fails to correctly answer all five questions-

Bedevere: THREE, sire!

Arthur: yes, of course, three....will be cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril!!!

Sir Robin: Er...I've got an idea! Why doesn't Sir Lancelot go?

Arthur: Yes sir lancelot, our prayers go with you.

(Lancelot approaches the bridge. Suddenly, out of nowhere,
the BRIDGEKEEPER appears.)

Bedevere: It's the old man from Scene 24!!

Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.

Lancelot: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.

Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?

Lancelot: Sir Lancelot of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?

Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What...is your favorite color?

Lancelot: Blue.

Bridgekeeper: Right, off you go.

Lancelot: (slightly surprised) Oh! Well, thank you. Thank you very much.

(and off he goes. The knights look at each other.)

Robin: That's EASY!!!

(A mad rush for the bridge. Robin arrives first. The knights
cluster behind. A few sniff and wrinkle their noses, and the
group backs off.)

Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.

Robin: (excitedly) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid.

Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?

Robin: Robin of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What...is you quest?

Robin: I seek the Grail!

Bridgekeeper: What...is the capital of Assyria?

Robin: (indignant) I don't know THAT!! (An unseen force whisks him up
and over the side.) AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!


Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.

Sir Galahad: (swallowing) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper...I am not
afraid...

Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?

Galahad: (nervous) Sir Galahad...

Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?

Galahad: (really nervous) To seek the Grail...

Bridgekeeper: What...is your favorite color?

Galahad: (relieved) Blue! (starts across; oops) NO!
YELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!

(Arthur steps forward)

Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.

Arthur: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.

Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?

Arthur: King Arthur of the Britons!

Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?

Arthur: I seek the Holy Grail!

Bridgekeeper: What...is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Arthur: (brief pause) What do you mean, an African or a European swallow?

Bridgekeeper: (confused) Well...I don't know...AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

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