I promise I'm "Not Satan". In fact, I'm as "Not Satan" as it gets. You might ask: "If you're not Satan, then who are you?" That's a very good question, now shut up.

I smoke weed and play video games because the dystopia we live in has ground me down to the point where there are very few other things that bring me any joy at all. That's all you need to know.

Yes, I do black magick. Yes, I do buy souls. No, I won't make your penis bigger, stop asking.. You're not going to use it anyway.

Insane Clown Posse is *Not* my fault. But Hemorrhoids are. I just know how to be a pain in the ass.

I have a patent pending for the invention of Black Coffee Water-Boarding. Piss me off at your own risk.

By the way, if you can read this, you're already in Hell and you're never getting out. Surprise!