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**~~** HOPING THAT IN 2023 THE UNIVERSE BRINGS YOU AND YOURS PEACE, LOVE, HAPPINESS, AND ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!!! **~~**
Hoping it's a wonderful holidays!!
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.°( . • . ) ˛°./• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/~\*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *。 Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays
*(...'•'.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.|田田 |門|╬╬╬╬ . ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
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Hope you guys all have a great Christmas or whatever you celebrate ^.^
A very happy holidays to you and your family!!
XddddDDDDDD
Magic with Miranda "Origins"
Miranda, I've received numerous complaints about you from many of my students. Need I remind you that the "Temple of TjarleN" is a sacred place where magic is to be learned and perfected
Who, me? No
Explain why you attempted to transform Sam into a cat, but failed! He's now running around telling everyone his name is J'zargo!
Ok, so in Skyrim there's a guy...
Or why we have a guy named Patches in the hospital after you manipulated his mind into thinking he could trust fall off a cliff, and into the arms of his imaginary friends
That's insane! I'd never...wait, that worked?!
Or why Carla's complaining about rulers appearing under the bathroom door each morning?
Oh, I just wanted to see how long she was going to be..
MIRANDA!
Magic with Miranda #3
I can't believe I won my first battle! This is so cool!
I wouldn't celebrate too soon, look up ahead.
A hunter from town must have heard you battling that thug and came to investigate.
Since he's no threat to us, we should sneak past him if we can.
How?
Summon an animal that makes a lot of noise, such as a bird or a goat. That should keep him distracted for a while.
But I never read the tutorial on how to summon. I always just closed those windows every time they popped up.
Miranda, this isn't a game. Focus your mind on the animal you wish to summon and it will appear. You must concentrate
Trust me, you can do this.
Ok, here it goes....SUMMON!
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1694152881
Magic with Miranda #2
Pardon me, are you the one they call Miranda?
Who are you & how do you know me?
A guild has placed a price on your head and I plan to collect it
Miranda, we should leave RIGHT NOW!
Are you on drugs?
Drugs? No! I'm just here to kill you
Yeah, that definatly sounds like drugs
I'M NOT ON DRUGS! I will now show you my true form..
TRANSFORM!
Now you DIE!
Haha, you idiot...We're on land and you transformed into a fish!
Dam, she's right. Well this sucks
VICTORY +10 XP
I won! I beat the thug on drugs!
CHOOSE ONE REWARD:
A reward! I choose
(1) HALF LIFE 3
(2) 40 TF2 GOLDEN FRYING PANS
(3) 40 CS:GO KNIVES
(4) A Sports Water Bottle THIS ONE!
"You Made It Worse!" Results
Trampoline:
I bet many of you thought the cow would go straight through the trampoline, right? Nope
On the bright side, he's no longer in a tree
TNT: A lot of you thought this was a good idea. That's quite troubling
Excellent! The tree's gone!
And so is the cow
And your house
And the girl nextdoor's house HEY!
And your hearing
The cute girl:
(Knock knock)
Yes?
.....
Can I help you?
....... (Stop being so shy and say something)
Do you need something?
.......... (Hurry up and say something!)
I'm going back inside now, goodbye. (Door closes)
............. Mooooooo! Splat
After going through the results of the last battle, 70% of you lost.
After seeing that, I thought "Where's the fun in that?". That being said, I've decided to end the Noble's Knights game and begin something a little more fun. Its called:
"You Made It Worse!"
Here's how to play:
Each week, I will give you a problem along with 3 ways to solve it. Choose the one you feel will make the situation end "less" worse. The fun part is that every option will make things worse, but by how much is up to you. Comment me your choice. At the end of the week, I will reveal what each choice did. Let's begin!
See this cow?
Well he's stuck in a tree
Now I'm not going to blame this on you, but...I'm pretty sure YOU did this!
Use one of these to get him down
Trampoline
TNT
The cute girl next door
Magic with Miranda #1
Toto, I don't recognize anything around us. What year is this?
Two-towns-end
2000?
No, the year is 2 and we've just reached the town's end
WHAT!? Ok, stay calm Miranda. Toto, do you know what a cell phone is?
Yeah, Lady Lynn sells phones
No, I said "cellphone"
Yeah, Lady Lynn sells phones
Ok, this is good I guess. What kind of phones does she sell?
Apple phones
Really? She sells iPhones!?
Yeah but they're just a wooden block with a window. You look through the window and blink at someone standing in front of you. They then count your blinks and match it up with a letter in the alphabet and write it down. Eyephones are pretty dumb
Oh no, dam.
We'll reach the dam shorty. It's just up ahead
Greetings fellow Knights!
There's still 2 days left to send me your 2 attacks. Current scores for this week's battle are now posted. If you don't see your name on the leader board, then it means the Poisonous Pigeon has survived your attacks. Now I know what some of you might be wondering, "How on Earth did I lose to a pigeon?". Since I've never lost to a pigeon before, I can't answer that. My best guess is that maybe he was once a Prison Pigeon that got really strong lifting weights and defending his portion of the courtyard. Now that I think about it, why didn't he just fly away from the prison? He's a freaking bird! Even if he became a wanted fugitive, I doubt anyone would go after him. Sure, there are Chicken Chasers, but who chases Pigeons? I'll have to Google that.
Regardless, you can rest easy knowing that Pigeons only have a 6 year lifespan so you'll get your revenge by the year 2025
NOBLE'S ⚔️ KNIGHTS
Instructions on how to play are on my profile
Noble has chosen you to fight as one of his knights.
Should you accept his quest, you will find yourself fighting:
The Poisonous Pigeon (It's your first quest, so lets start small)
It's health is: 30 (Should be pretty easy to defeat)
Post a comment on my profile with the 2 numbers you have chosen.
This battle will end on Saturday.
May You Be Victorious ⚔️
Prologue:
Miranda was just an average girl living in New York City.
One winter morning, Miranda woke up from a dream to the sound of a knock at her door...
Miranda, open up! It's me, Toto
Go away, I'm sleeping. I have work in 4 hours...wait, what's a Toto?
Miranda, be serious. We must hurry. Grab Peaches and lets ride
Peaches? HEY! Wheres my Mustang! It was parked here last night
Miranda, Your Mustang is standing right in front of you
That's a horse!
My Mustang is white and has 500 Horsepower
Well Peaches is also white and she's a very strong 1 horsepower
Grrr! Have you seen any of the white mustangs that are made of "metal"?
Blacksmith "Handover" may have seen your metal mustang, he's always working with metal. Lets pay him a visit when we get into town...
Noble's Notes
To my Miranda fans out there
Beginning next Monday, the Magic with Miranda series will be rebooted and become a weekly series.
New stories will be released each Monday (Miranda Mondays) and will be numbered so that future fans can follow along.
The stories will still feature Miranda and Wendy, but will now follow an actual story line.
To my Space Fact fans out there
Beginning next Friday, Space facts will be released each and every Friday (Fact Fridays)
They will still be random and funny, just as they are now.
As always, if you wish to no longer get the stories or the facts, please feel free to let me know.
I know it might not be everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok.
Until then, feel free to stop by the profile and say hi.
Take care everyone
Chlorine Trifluoride: The "Fun" Fuel
Back in the day, rocket scientists attempted to use Chlorine Trifluoride as a rocket fuel.
Back in the day, rocket scientists quickly stopped trying to use Chlorine Trifluoride as a rocket fuel.
Wondering why?
Lets play a game:
"What does Chlorine Trifluoride set fire to"
Glass
Brick
Sand
Asbestos
Metals
Rocket scientists
Ashes
Almost everything
Water makes it explode, and since we're made mostly of water
Afterwards, it will create an acidic cloud of Hydrochloric & Hydrofloric acid Yay!
Once, one-ton of it was spilled in an industrial accident. It burned through 30 cm of concrete and 3 more meters of gravel beneath it.
Here's how they say they handled it:
"Random Space Facts" by Noble Expeditions
Mercury (No, not the thing you drink. The planet, silly!)
Do you enjoy celebrating New Years? A year on Mercury is only 88 days long!
Laugh at your friends back on Earth who celebrate theirs once every 365 days, those filthy peasants. That's a new Golden profile every 3 months!
Ever had an assignment due the next day but wish you had more time? You should've been living on Mercury. A single day there lasts 176 Earth days! I remember when I forgot to feed my cat one Mercury day. I now own a dog meow!
A single Mercury day is longer than its year!
Was your New Years resolution to lose some weight? Meh, that takes to much time. Head on over to Mercury and enjoy your new summer body right away! If you weighed 100 kg on Earth, Mercury's reduced gravity will ensure you don't tip the scales past 38 kg.
(btw...the 427°C heat might kill you)
I've received some questions regarding my new profile design.
Let me take a moment to answer a few of them:
Q: Are your rockets safe?
A: Rockets are basically bombs with people attached, so the answer is yes!
Q: How fast can they go?
A: To get into Earth's orbit, our rockets must travel at 17,600 Mph (28,000 km/h). That's faster than most Italian sports cars.
Q: How long does a trip take?
A: Trips to the moon usually take 3 days. Traveling to Pluto at 35,000Mph (56,300 km/h) takes 9.5 years. We encourage all Pluto travelers to pack a light lunch and a snack.
Q: Can I get a refund if I'm not satisfied with my flight?
A: Certainly. Simply bring your receipt to our customer service center located on Pluto within 30 days.
Q: HEY! Wait a minute! If it takes 9.5 years to get to Pluto, how would I even get there within 30 days to get my refund?!
A: Yes.
Q: Yes?! That's not even an answer!
Gather around ladies and gents! Its time for Noble's:
"Super Awesome Fun Time Game Playing Enjoyable Experience Wow Thats Cool"
(or "SAFTGPEEWTC" for short)
You might be asking "Hey Noble, what the heck is SAFTGPEEWTC"
How would I know? I'm just now hearing about this for the first time as well. I'm guessing its a game or an activity of some sort. The name doesn't seem to offer much info and the acronym is just way too long. Its the kind of name Miranda would choose. Who knows?
For today's SAFTGPEEWTC, the rules are simple. Stare at the dot in the center of the image for 15 seconds, then look away from your screen and look at any object that's nearby.
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1637464381
Magic with Miranda
Hey Wendy, do you want to play a game?
Sure. What's the game?
Its called "I'll hide and you attempt to locate me somewhere nearby, meanwhile I stay hidden because I found a really good hiding spot" game.
You mean "Hide and Seek"?
Yeah, thats what I just said. Why are you copying me?
That is NOT what you just said, you said....oh never mind, lets just play the game.
Do you want me to go over the rules first?
I'm pretty sure I know how to play hide and seek, so i'll skip the tutorial
You sure?
Of course I'm sure Miranda, its freakin Hide and Seek! Its the easiest game on the planet!
Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you....
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1634250834
Magic with Miranda
Hi guys!
Where have you been?! It's been almost 3 weeks!
I've been busy helping a small village recover from a forest fire.
Your recklessness with fire spells better not have been the cause of that fire
Seriously Wendy? Do you really think I'd do something that dumb?
YES!
I just used "Splash" to extinguish some of the fires
"Some" of the fires?! What about the "rest" of the fires
Don't worry, I'm still putting them out right now
Oh. So since you're here with me then HOW ARE THE OTHER FIRES BEING PUT OUT!
I copied the spell to my clipboard and paste it 1000 times before I left.
Work smarter, not harder! That's my motto
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1628617184
Put down that Nintendo Dreamcast controller and gather around because its story time!
"The Tale of Noble the Knight"
Long ago, a knight named Noble served as the princess's guard. The princess never noticed him but he noticed her. In an attempt to gain her attention, Noble decided to enter the upcoming festival's talent show. Knowing that he lacked any sort of talent, he enlisted the help of a world renowned dance choreographer with no legs named Leon. Noble studied legless Leon's sweet dance moves but never quite understood them because he had trouble watching what Leon's legs were doing. After weeks of training and learning absolutely nothing, the day of the festival had finally arrived. A frustrated and hopeless Noble had no other choice but to perform in front of the princess with no real talent. Here is how it went:
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1584150425
Magic with Miranda
Hey Noire, can you perform magic as well?
I can transform into a goddess but I'd rather just punch my problems in the face
Here we go again. Yes Noire, we all know you have anger issues
Watch it Wendy or you'll be next
Oh, i'm so scared hahaha...uh oh!
What the fu...
Oh my god! You finally broke the curse....and my nose!
Wendyl? You're back?!
I'm back and i'm outta here. I'm not dealing with your recklessness any longer
HEY! You can't just abandon me like that!
Yeah, that's just mean!
Oh yeah? Watch me
Wendyl...before you leave, can I ask you something?
What?
Look, Wendy's back!
NOOOO!!!
Magic with Miranda
Hey, are you the idiot that's been going around throwing meteors at fire ant nests?!
Woah! Calm down. Who are you anyway?
My name is "you're getting punched in the throat"
Wow, you're kind of.. whats the word again? right, CRAZY!!
That's Noire. Don't mind her, she's always mad. Hi, my name is...umm, wait..what was it again?
I've had HORRIBLE memory issues ever since I gave physics the middle finger and survived a fall from a kingdom that floats in the sky
This might sound a bit crazy but do either of you know of any shops that sell magic lamps?
There's one over in Magic Lamp Town. We can take you there if you'd like?
Really? Thank you!
And when we get there, I'll find someone to punch in the throat
Lets go!
That's Noire. Hi, my name is...umm, wait..what was it again?
Magic with Miranda
JACKPOT! I finally found a fire ant nest!
...said nobody ever
Let's reach in there and take all of their sweet sweet honey!
I'm pretty sure fire ants don't make honey
You're so wrong
Oh really? Show me then
Its so easy. I just reach in and ouch ouCH OUCH! Wendy, they bit me! Grrrrr!
Of course they bit you, THEY'RE FIRE ANTS!
I'm not even mad about that. I'm mad that there's no more honey left because they ate it all.
That's why you're mad? Because they ate it all? THEY DON'T MAKE HONEY!
They must pay for their greed!
Wait, What?!
BATTLE TIME: YOU CHOOSE MIRANDA'S SPELL
Dragon's Breath- https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1565867354
Boom Bringer- https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1565864871
Magic with Miranda: Fabled Friend Vanilla
Wendy look! Its a tiny little knight. Can we pet it?
You're asking if we can pet a knight? NO!!
Whatevs, I'm petting it.
Hello tiny knight, I'm Miranda. Aww, you're so soft!
Hi Miranda. My name is "remove your hand from my head", but you can call me "Vanilla of Valhalla"
You're tiny little sword is so cute! Can I hold it?
No
Please
Miranda, that's a Valhalla knight's sword
So?
That sword is enchanted with powerful magic that triggers once the sword has left it's owners hand
Haha, yeah right!
HEY! Give that back!
I'm not scared of some tiny...uh oh!
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1564491897
https://steamproxy.net/id/Minaduki_Catgirls
Magic with Miranda
Have you ever seen a Giraaafe?
You mean a "Giraffe"?
No, a Giraaafe
Why do you keep calling it that? It's not "Giraaafe", its "Giraffe"
I'm not talking about Giraffes, I'm talking about Giraaafes. There's a difference.
NO MIRANDA, NO! There is NO difference because there is NO Giraaafe!
So what do you call a racing giraffe?
A WHAT?!
You know, a Giraffe that runs in races. What do you call that?
A fast running giraffe, thats what I call it
Well you're wrong
Miranda, you're wasting my time. Why would I care about a "Giraaafe"?!
Because we now own one
WHAT!!??
Relax Wendy, I made sure I bought the fastest one. See for yourself
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1560964480
(¸.•´ (¸.•` * ¸ ▂╱▏ I wish you Merry, Happy and fun New Year 2017
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|| ╰━┫╟━ ┣━┫┣┳╯ /▌*˛˚
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Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays