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Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit.
-- Maureen Murphy
🤠
Drunk: "I'm thinking you're one of them Independents."
Mal: "And I'm thinking you weren't overburdened with schooling. So why don't
we both ignore each other until we go away."
😲
Pushing 30 is exercise enough.
🤒
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
🤔
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
😱
Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate.
🤕
I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's
picture that came with the wallet he bought.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
😩
The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
-- Thomas Jefferson
🙂
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