Whenever any of you are going through a hard time just think what Emma Watson would do in that situation?

Last year as I was hiking in the mountains of Peshawar wearing only my Speedos (weird, I know but yolo :wink:), i mistook a step and fell down a steep hill. As i was sliding down, my speedos caught something and tore open, revealing my genitalia. I slid down the hill and oh lord you wouldn't believe the state of my penis when I hit the ground. I'll spare you the details. My ass was stuffed with branches and my penis squashed into a bloody mess.
In times like these it always helps to imagine, what would Emma Watson do in this situation? So I thought hard about it and realized. Emma would brush her skirt, put on her Super-woman face and brave the Peshawari wilderness, bloody penis and all.

Long story short, the locals mistook me for a forest demon and I spent 7 days in a bamboo cage being fed bread crumbs and tortured continuously in 8 hour long exorcisms. The only thing that kept me alive and motivated was Emma Watson's bravery and courage.

Then the US army invaded the village, slaughtered the residents and found me naked and unafraid, reciting Emma Watsons name again and again. They rescued me and took me back to my hotel room. They offered to take me back to Houston but I didn't want to leave. I just love this country so much.