How’s no poop november been going for y’all?

For me, it’s been going pretty smoothly, but the stomach aches are coming in. I just hope I don’t ♥♥♥♥ my pants in the middle of gym class like last year.

My number 1 tip is to never fart. That has turns to liquid real quick, and once that train starts, it don’t stop baby

WARNING C*ck inspection is NOT required at voting booths!!! Don’t be tricked like me!
So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my c*ck because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I though he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!

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♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ seriously. I was just jacking it off to some porn and guess what?! I came across a video with a woman in it. A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WOMAN. I inmediately knew this was the doing of those damn SJWs trying to force diversity into my entertainment. I could feel my masculinity decrease by the second so i clicked away and searched for a video with big sweaty strong men ramming their hips against each others round toned buttocks. Like every respectable man should dammit!

I just can't anymore. First they invade my videogames and now my porn? No, i won't let them. I declare war on every SJW out there. From now on i will exclusively jack off to porn with white male protagonists, and i urge you to do the same. That will teach them.

Ball cleveage shorts should be a thing.

I feel like society is ready.

I can imagine all sorts of cool outfits that show off my ball cleveage, for the office, for the pool, weddings and any sort of occasion.

Wearing ball cleavage shorts will allow us men to use our assets to flirt with women who are in power in hopes of gaining some unfair advantage over those who are less endowed.

There would be "wonder shorts" which push the balls up front and accentuate the cleavage. Like diamonds on a pedestal.

There would be a little hole in the shorts to let the ball cleavage poke through

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Why, yes, I am R.A.C.I.S.T:

Respect my friend's different beliefs

Adore the little quirks in their traditions

Care for my friends, no matter their skin color

Inform myself on what taboos I should never break

Smile when they speak their native tongues

The French must be purged from the Earth

𝕺𝖍 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖌𝖔𝖉 𝕴 𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖞 𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖘𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚 𝖆 𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖈𝖐 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖇𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖘 ...𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖙. 𝕷𝖊𝖘𝖙 ... 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖐? 𝕳𝖆𝖍𝖆 𝕴 𝖏𝖊𝖘𝖙 .., 𝖉𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖙...𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖊 𝖈𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖊..? ... 𝖍𝖆𝖍𝖆 𝖓𝖆𝖞, 𝕭𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖎𝖙...𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖙?

"Big Time Rush is better than those ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Beetles" I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence in the room.

"Hes right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. Standing there in the fifth row is none other than Mozart himself.

This kid is a blatant hacker. I believe he is hacking for the following reasons:

1. His bullets do more damage than mine
2. I didn't know he was there and he shot me when I wasn't paying attention
3. He always seems to not die when I am shooting at him, I NEVER MISS because I am the greatest CS:GO player of all time
4. He knifed me once
5. I lost the match and he caused me to derank
6. I did better than him during warm-up, so he clearly toggled on mid-match
7. His USP-S killed me in 1 shot despite me unloading my Glock in his general direction

Together, as a community, we need to band together against this type of behavior. It isn't right for a person like this to be able to win a competitive game that I deserved to win. Rest assured, my dad works at Valve and will have his account banned.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my @ss because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to poop it back out.

This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my @sshole from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.

I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my @sshole has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

What if...🤔😏 we were both cows🐮🐄 in Minecraft🙈⛏ and Steve gave both of us wheat🤭🥵🌾 aHAaAhAAa! I’m joking, I’m joking!!😂🤪...unless ?😈...

Ok so my girlfriend has a "gay best friend" that shes always hanging out with more than me. Im not gay and theres nothing wrong with gays. He looks better than me and works out and is always hanging around girls. Well I suspected shes cheating on me with him even though hes so called "gay". She hangs out with him for hours and comes home and goes right to sleep. We havent had sex in like 3 months. So of course im suspecting hes not actually gay.

Im debating on confronting them and asking him to suck my d1ck to prove hes gay. Again im not gay at all but i think it would give me peace of mind if he proved hes gay plus ive grown sexually frustrated since my gf doesnt put out anymore. Killing two birds with one stone in a way.

What do you guys think? Should i ask my girlfriends "gay best friend" for a BJ to prove hes gay? Again, im not gay.

I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my @ss for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my @ss! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my @ss pennies everyday. You pick up my @ss pennies for good luck. You throw my @ss pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my @ss pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with.

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Beh paceeeeee

Local Disk (C:)
└📁Program Files (x86)
⠀└📁steam
⠀⠀└📁steamapps
⠀⠀⠀└📁common
⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁CSGO
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁Skills
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁 Aim
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty

ily

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╚═(███)═╝ WOW! You encountered a wild Lennipide! Only great people and friends see this
.╚═(███)═╝ rare creature! If you know a great friend, send this lennipede to them; It is a
..╚═(███)═╝ sign of great fortune and luck!
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Signed by Helm <3

+rep 10/10 entry "fagger"