have an offer for ya, added mate.

I'm cutting off your balls (ツ)_/¯✂╰⋃╯

How do I (M58) buy a woman (F19)
My buddy raised a fine daughter in the years we have battled together, and a few years ago I lost my wife to consumption. i have watched his daughter a lot recently and recently tried courting Herand yet she says she sees me as family and rejects my attempts. recently I have seen her going on adventures with my grandson, they seem to be friends. they just run around in the wilderness, I don't get it. we have all the entertainment we need on this checkerboard. On top of the youth these days not enjoying a good olde game of checkers, she seems completely uninterested in my trophies of prowess. I fear my only choice is to get real old man speak to my friend about marrying his daughter off to me. I have plenty of money and influence as I am currently ruling Vlandia.

How do I bring up the subject to my friend that I want to marry his daughter and make him rich for the privilege?

"My horse is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hot" I always thought to myself. As I noticed he had sex with his wife around 4 times a day, I decided to order another horse, to make my horse's wife cheat on him with this big horse I just got. And all of this to make him hornier, to push him into raping me, because I know he is hella smart, as I taught him ABC. So, today when I went at cleaning his ♥♥♥♥, I positioned myself in doggystyle, and waited for him. And then bang, I felt his 36cm ♥♥♥♥ in my tight ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Best experience of my life. However after that day, all the other horses started glancing at me weirdly, and this is how I realized I was cooked.

i took a fat dookie and ejaculated and i think because of that im gay. this ♥♥♥♥ as a surprise to many including myself as i thought i was straight but when that kit kat chunky left my bumky i had an awakening. if it felt that good leaving me then what about an average to large penis entering me? anyone relate? i don't know how to tell my girlfriend this, its obviously a pretty big thing to tell someone but like i think it just makes sense to be gay now after that feeling. i think my body just knows I'm homosexual. Not to give TMI but like the way it grazed my sphincter as it slid out my wrinkled hole made me feel some sort of bliss. i was in such shock over it my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ puckered in excitement. i like my girlfriends vagina but omfg that ♥♥♥♥ was bussin. please let me know if you think im just overreacting or if this is a sign that i should dip my toe in the gay waters, when im ready i will take the full plunge ass deep into a Mexican boy.

I'm movin' different
This ♥♥♥♥ ain't nothin' to me, man
I'm a dog, I'm bitin' the fart bubbles in the bath
We smokin' Symbiotes
Smokin' that Whoopie Goldberg
South Egyptian, Furburger Deluxe
Mega Millions scratcher, skunk bubba kush
We smokin' dung beetle
I'm on 12 Vicodin smokin' on Scooby-Doo ♥♥♥♥
We smokin' Sequoia banshee boogers
We snortin' that good buffalo soldier tamarind Jordanian jimmies
They must have amnesia, they forgot that I'm him
That Burberry back woods hitting that ♥♥♥♥♥ smell like a Hellcat V8
We smokin' ♥♥♥♥ in a glass pipe
Blowin' the lord's bubbles (Yeah)
I'm sick in the head
I'm on them Broward County Tic-Tacs
I'm on them Georgetown Geronimos
I'm on them Nashville Nibblers