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I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a ♥♥♥♥ on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good and horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that.

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　　 | ノ　　　　　 ヽ/⌒)
　 /⌒) (ﾟ)　　　(ﾟ)　|　.|　　　　　▂ ▪　▂▄▅▆▇■▀▀〓◣▬ ▪ ￭ … ．
　/　/　 　( _●_)　 ミ/　　．▂▅■▀ ▪ ￭　▂¨ ∵▃ ▪ ・
（　　ヽ　　|∪|　　／　　　◢▇█▀　¨▂▄▅▆▇██■■〓◥◣▄
　＼　　　 ヽノ　/　　￭ ▂▅██▅▆▇██■〓▀▀ ◥◣ ∴ ▪ ．
　 /　　　　　　/　▅▇███████▀ ▪ ∴ …．▅　￭　 ◥◣
　|　　　_つ◥▅▆▇████████▆▃▂　 ▪ ￭▂▄▃▄▂
　|　 /ω＼　＼ ￭　 ¨ ▀▀▀■▀▀▀ ▪ ￭ ∴‥
　|　/ 　　　 )　 )
　∪　 　　 （　 ＼
　　　　 　　 ＼＿)

Du APB Suchti :D