"Are You A Complete Moron?" - Maeve

"♥♥♥♥ Off, Snowflake" - Maeve

"I'm Eternally Grateful For Your Kindness" - Maeve

"Head Boys Notoriously Peak Too Early. I'd Watch Out, If I Were You" - Maeve

"No Wonder. You Could Besiege A Castle With That Thing" - Maeve

"It's Like A Third Leg" - Maeve

"The Students At This School Need Your Help, Otis. And We Need Their Money" - Maeve

"He Came Otis, Your Words Made Him ♥♥♥!" - Maeve

"Hey Piss-Flaps" - Maeve

"You Look Like A Wotsit" - Maeve

"Otis, You Scope Out The Sober Virgins" - Maeve

"Crawling With Cretins" - Maeve

"I Don't Think Anyone Would Want A Pregnant 17-year-Old" - Maeve

"What If I Was A Serial Killer? Or A Hermit? Or My Whole Family Had Died In A Fire. Would I Still Need To Bring Someone Then?" - Maeve

"Drop Something? No? Why Are You Eyeballing The Ground, Then?" - Maeve

"All Right, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥?" - Maeve

"I'll Text You If I Die" - Maeve

"If You Tell Anyone About This, I'll Kill. I Have A Hatchet And I Know A Good Place To Hide A Body, Okay?" - Maeve

"No, I'm A Grotty, Stinky ♥♥♥♥-Biter Who Lives In A Caravan" - Maeve

"♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!" - Maeve

"You Look Like The Cookie Monster" - Maeve

"You're Compellingly Odd, Millburn" - Maeve

"Who You Pervin' On?" - Maeve

"Shame The Scissoring Thing Didn't Work. I'm So Skint Right Now" - Maeve

"You're A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Gem, Otis" - Maeve

"No Chemically Induced Hard-On Today?" - Maeve

"You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" - Maeve

"Oi, I Said Maybe. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.... I Said ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" - Maeve

"Get Lost Before I Change My Mind" - Maeve

"Hey, Muppet" - Maeve

"What's Up, ♥♥♥♥ Stain?" - Maeve

"We Will ♥♥♥♥ You Up, Do You Hear Me? You'll Wish You Were A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Carpet" - Maeve

"Diarrhoea Attack" - Maeve

"Why Are Your Arms So Freakishly Long?" - Maeve

"Top-Heavy Steve? Looks Like An Ice-Cream Cone" - Maeve

"Those Pancakes Better Have Whipped Cream On Them" - Maeve

"Disappear Again And I'll Stab You In The Eye" - Maeve

"Speaking Of Which, Aimee's Now Calling You The Pleasure Master" - Maeve

"Pessimists Outlive Optimists" - Maeve

"Where's The Spunk Adam" - Aimee

"My Auntie Got Eaten By Wasps" - Aimee

"No... She Was Eaten" - Aimee

"Ta-Ra, Lad" - Aimee

"My Ham" - Aimee

"Thing Is, School Is Already Hard Enough Without Having To Date An Actual Flasher" - Aimee

"You're Not Invited, ♥♥♥♥ Off" - Aimee

"I Think He's Peacocking. But With Words" - Aimee

"It's Really Good For Hard Decisions Like, Should I Get A Fringe, Even Though Mum Says It'll Make My Face Look Chubby? Or Should I Tell Mum I Hate Her And Run Away From Home? Hm?" - Aimee

"I Just Sort Of Arrive Places" - Amiee

"You Know Top Heavy-Steve? Built Like A Chupa-Chup" - Aimee

"Yea. I'm Always Fake" - Aimee

"So You're Prescribing A Wank?" - Aimee

"I've Been Wanking All Night. I Ate Four Packets Of Crumpets And I Think My Clit Might Drop Off" - Amiee

"I'm Dying For A Poo. I'm So Anxious, I Think It's Gonna Be A Sloppy One" - Aimee

"This ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ College" - Aimee

"I Feel Like A Wizard In This Bit. Abracadabra" - Aimee

"Shut The ♥♥♥♥ Up, Tromboner. Give Me What You've Got" - Adam

"Give Me That Curly Wurly.... Or I Will Break Your Face" - Adam

"Your Mum's Cool... So Why Are You So ♥♥♥♥" - Adam

"I Mean, Seriously, Are You Adopted" - Adam

"Is Three Viagras Bad? Her Reaction Made It Seem Like It Was Bad. I Feel Lightheaded And I Can Taste Scampi" - Adam

"There Goes Adam Groff, Headmaster's Son. He's Got A Big Massive Elephant's ♥♥♥♥.. I've Got Feelings" - Adam

"My Name Is Adam Groff. Headmaster Gross Is My Dad. Which Is Weird, Cause I'm Quite ♥♥♥♥ At School. And This... This Is My ♥♥♥♥" - Adam

"I Just... I Don't Understand Women. She-- She Likes Me, She Doesn't Like Me. She Wants My Giant ♥♥♥♥. Sorry, My, Uh.. My Large... Penis. And Then She Doesn't Wanna Speak To Me" - Adam

"Open The Door You Orange ♥♥♥♥, I'm Gonna ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Kill You" - Adam

"That's A... It's A Women's Behind. that's A Bumhole, There's A Vagina" - Adam

"Just, ♥♥♥♥ Off" - Adam

"You're So Funny You Make My ♥♥♥♥ Hurt" - Adam

"What's Happened, Tromber? Yea? Woken Up Straight?" - Adam

"Well, You Look ♥♥♥♥" - Adam

"I Don't Dream" - Adam

"Dream's Aren't Real" - Adam

"I Only Notice Girls... They're Everywhere" - Adam

"I Like.... Elbows" - Adam

"Did You Hear That? He Spoke To Me, With Actual Words" - Eric

"Excuse Me, I Gave Two And A Half Hand Jobs To That Guy I Met In Butlin's" - Eric

"I Heard She Bit Simon Futhassle On The Scrote, And Now, It's All Wonky. Like A Discount Avacado" - Eric

"Come On, Man. Not My Curly Wurly" - Eric

"The Nickname Doesn't Even Make Sense. I Play The French Horn" - Eric

"Um, Maeve Wiley's Coming Straight Over Here. She's Literally Walking Straight Towards Us With Purpose. Uh, Otis! Otis! Otis!. Okay, She's Here" - Eric

"Now Lose The Tie. You Look Like A Mormon" - Eric

"So Anwar, I Had This Really Weird Thing Happen To Me Recently, With, Like, A... A Bumhole!" - Eric

"People Think I Pooed Myself" - Eric

"Count Yourself Lucky She Didn't Bite Your Scrote. Then You'd Have A Mangled Scrote Like Simon Furthassle's" - Eric

"You Should Wash Your Hands, You Detty Pig" - Eric

"You Don't Have A Vagina. You Do Not Have A Vagina In The Same Way That I Do Not Have A Vagina" - Michael

"Bloody Vagina's" - Michael

"I Think Your Goat Might Be A Lesbian" - Maureen

"Be Proud Of Your Penis And Your Heritage" - Otis

"Well, At The Zoo, I Once Saw A Chinchilla Fellate Itself..." - Otis

"Cranberry Juice Is Good For Thrush" - Otis

"Anyone Got Any STIs?" - Otis

"What Do You Get Someone Who's Having An Abortion?" - Otis

"You're Not That Stinky, Plus, I Thought It Was A Scrote You Bit" - Otis

"She Touched My Eyebrows And Now I Have An Erection" - Otis

"It Won't Go Away, It's Been Half An Hour And It's Really Cold" - Otis

"Speak With Us, Or Your Precious Fellowship Will Meet The Same Fate" - Otis

"Just Roll Up Your Sleeves, You Fool" - Otis

"I'm A Virgin" - Otis

"Well, My Mum Doesn't Really Do Boyfriends. She's A Man-Eater" - Otis

"How Are You Getting On With Your Penis" - Jean

"♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Piece Of... Wanking Piece Of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥!" - Jean

"Yes, I'm Writing A Book, You ♥♥♥♥. You Don't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Own Words, You... Bearded Piece Of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥" - Jean

"You Know, It's Weird. You're My Age, But Wise. You're Like My Mum.. In A Little Man's Body. Like A Little Mum Man" - Jackson

"Sorry, Who's The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" - Jackson

"Sean Was Just Telling Me How Fat You Were As A Baby" - Jackson

"Everyone At This College Is So Sweet And Good-Natured. It's Disgusting, Really" - Ruby

"Yea, If My Labia Looked Like That, I'd, Uh, Kill Myself" - Ruby

"It's Probably Maeve Wiley's. Anyone Notice Whether It Had Teeth?" - Ruby

"You And That Weird Sex Kid Who Looks Like A Victorian Ghost" - Ruby

"All Of Them. I'm A ♥♥♥♥♥, Maeve. I'm A ♥♥♥♥♥ To Everyone" - Ruby

"It Looks Like They've Got Chewbacca Vag" - Olivia

"No Way. She's Fat. This Isn't A Fat Vagina" - Olivia

"You Look Like A Traffic Cone" - Anwar

"Did You ♥♥♥♥ Yourself" - Anwar

"And What Would You Know About Blow Jobs. Trumpet Boy" - Anwar

"No. Those Flaps Are Caucasian, All Right" - Anwar

"That Was Tight As ♥♥♥♥. GOD! EAT IT!!" - Hendricks

"I Am Watching You With My Ears. Ahaha... That's Impossible By The Way" - Hendricks

"You Are Jazz, Eric Is Jazz, I Am Jazz" - Hendricks

"So, Grab Yourself A Partner. But Remember To Get Consent... Hah! No, Seriously. Please Do Get Consent" - Hendricks

"Shut The ♥♥♥♥ Up Quentin, You Piece Of ♥♥♥♥, Jesus Christ" - Hendricks

"C'mon Quentin For ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, What, Do You Want To Marry France" - Hendricks

"I'm Gonna Get You So Wet. You're Going To Feel Like Your Water Just Broke" - Hendricks